Fearless
by ElphieThroppDG28
Summary: Musings of mine over the BBC show The Syndicate. It's pretty rough right now, but I'd like to evolve it into an eventual Jamie/OC story.
1. Stuff to Know Before Reading

Fearless

also known as

The Random Musings of an Emotionally Unstable Fangirl Who Really Likes The Syndicate and Couldn't Keep the Plot Bunnies Under Control

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, The Syndicate is a five-part miniseries on BBC about five super-market workers in Leeds who jointly win the lottery. It's a lot more interesting than it sounds (trust me). Neville Longbottom and Peter Pettigrew are in it, and they couldn't be more different than their Harry Potter counterparts (but that's a good thing).

Anyway, being the Matthew Lewis fangirl I am (and because I'm never satisfied with anything), I had the idea of giving Jamie (Matthew Lewis's character) a girlfriend/possible love interest. But then I found out he got himself a "girlfriend" (if by that, you mean "Katy Perry hooker"). I don't know if it's serious yet, but there's two episodes left, so we'll just have to see.

I don't feel like going into too much detail. There are probably spoilers on Tumblr and other websites, so feel free to brush up on that. If you're in the UK, they have the episodes up on the BBC iPlayer. If you're not from the UK, watchseries puts up links the day after each episode premieres. The first three are online, and the last two will be up at least by the 18th and 25th of April, respectively.

So right now this story is gonna be a collection of one-shots. They're all from my Tumblr, so I own the rights (so to speak), and I'm not pissing people off. I don't own the show or the characters or anything, but I do own my own characters.

This might evolve into an actual story, depending on how the series plays out. Like I said, it's only three-fifths of the way through, and after the first three episodes, I wouldn't be surprised if Godzilla came in and started making out with Jamie's Ferrari. But for right now, this is just the little stories that pop into my head when they feel like it.

I should probably let you guys in on my OC. Since this is a work-in-progress, she's not completely fleshed out yet, but here are the basics.

Her name is Catherine, or Cathy. She's 19 years old and she lives somewhere in London. Her uncle Bob is the manager of Right Buy U, and she's taking a year off from college (university?) to get away from her parents and figure out what she wants to do with her life. She winds up with a part-time job at Right Buy U, and stays with Bob and his girlfriend of 11 years, Annie.

As far as her and Jamie are concerned, I'm leaning toward going with them having met before. She's probably visited her uncle numerous times, and since Stuart, Jamie's older brother, has been working at Right Buy U since he was 15, the two of them were bound to run into each other at some point. He likes to make her flustered, and she is easily annoyed with his couldn't-care-less attitude.

Um...that's it for now, I guess. Like I said, it's pretty rough right now, but I just wanted to write it down and see what people think. If it sucks, then I'll go ahead and write it for my own enjoyment.

Um...yeah. That's it, I guess.

Happy reading!

~Elphie


	2. 1: Amgibuity

Ambiguity

_A/N: If there's one thing I've learned from the English class I took last semester, it's that some of the best stories have hardly any detail. Sometimes you have to let the reader decide what's going on._

* * *

Cathy: "I really don't think I can do this."

Jamie: "Why not?"

Cathy: "I'd tell you…but you wouldn't understand."

Jamie: "You never know unless you do it. Maybe I will understand."


	3. 2: The First Time They Met

The First Time They Met

It hadn't been a special day or anything. Cathy Davies's parents had decided to take a trip to Leeds to visit Uncle Bob for a couple of weeks, and the two of them had decided to have "Grown-Ups Only Time" that day, meaning Cathy needed to be watched. And since Uncle Bob was working that day, she wound up spending the day at Right Buy U.

She wished her uncle did something more interesting. He had made his job seem so when he talked about it. But all he did was sit at his desk and write stuff down, or go out to the store and write on a notepad. Which is how she found herself sitting in one of the chairs in his office, toeing the carpet or reading the pocket dictionary he kept on the bookshelf.

It was absolute torture.

"Uncle Bob? When did Mum and Dad say they were coming back?"

"Not until five, Cathy." He didn't even look up.

"What time is it?"

"It's almost one."

She sighed loudly, letting her head hang back.

"Cathy, why don't you see how Stuart's doing?" He looked at her over his reading glasses. "I'm sure he could use some help."

"Will I get paid?"

"We'll see."

"That means no, then."

"It means we'll see."

Cathy rolled her eyes and walked out the door. If she didn't get a few pounds for this, she'd be giving her parents an earful. It was bad enough they decided to have fun without her; they at least could have dumped her somewhere interesting, somewhere that wasn't dreadfully boring.

She stopped in front of the counter, resting her elbows as she stared at the back of Stuart Bradley's head. She exhaled, waiting for him to turn around. When he didn't, she breathed out again. And when he still didn't move, she let out a huge, annoyed huff of air.

The sixteen-year-old boy turned to look at her. "What?"

"Uncle Bob says you need to give me something to do so I won't be bored."

Stuart cleared his throat. "Well...I don't really think there's much for you to do, really..."

"Why not?"

"You're...um...kind of young, aren't you?"

"Am not." She straightened up, glaring at him. "Ten is _not _young. Young is when you need a booster seat in the car!"

Stuart put his face in his hands. "Are you sure there's nothing else you could be doing right now?"

She shook her head, a smirk steadily growing on her face. "I'm stuck here for four more hours, so you might as well give me something useful to do."

She enjoyed talking to Stuart like this. Although she didn't know him well, he seemed alright. He had a nice smile and was usually kind of quiet, which to her was an invitation to ask nosy questions. He ignored her some of the time, but he would mostly answer back.

He was about to give her an answer when someone came into the store. It was a boy that looked a lot like Stuart. She wondered if they were related.

"Stu, it's one," the boy said by way of greeting.

Stuart turned his attention to him. "And?"

"And we were gonna hang out today." The boy's face hardened. "Or did you forget?"

Stuart sighed, suddenly looking very tired. "Jamie, Bob needed someone to run an extra shift, and I need some money-"

"That's always your excuse." The boy sauntered away and grabbed a pack of gum. "You need some money. Why can't you just get some from Mum?"

"It's complicated, alright? Mind your own business."

"I'm just saying." The boy dropped the gum on the counter and turned to Cathy. He didn't say anything for a moment.

"What're you staring at?" Cathy asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Who said I was staring?" The boy turned back to Stuart. "Is there a reason you've got a _kid _hanging out here?"

Cathy didn't like the way he said "kid". "I'm not a kid," she said.

"That's Bob's niece," Stuart explained. "She's visiting for a while."

"And he put you on babysitting duty?" The boy laughed. "Have fun keeping her under control."

Cathy's temper rose, and suddenly her fingers were in a fist and there was a dull pain in her knuckles.

"Ow! What the bloody hell was that for?" the boy exclaimed, holding his shoulder.

"Cathy!" Stuart was pulling her behind the counter. "Would you two please be civil?"

The boy gave Stuart a look, but Stuart gave it right back. "You were provoking her, Jamie."

Cathy didn't take her gaze from the boy, Jamie. She felt her anger rise again, but if she attacked, Stuart would be less than pleased.

"Just let me pay for my gum so I don't have to be around that wild thing," Jamie said, eyeing her malevolently.

"I have a name, you little toad!" Cathy spat.

"Knock it off, both of you!" Stuart hastily rang up Jamie and pushed the gum toward him. "Now go on, Jamie. I don't need you two at each other's throats."

"Fine. I can tell Mum all about my trip to the store: You broke your promise, and I got punched in the arm by some mad little gremlin."

Cathy frowned. "And I can tell Uncle Bob that you were being particularly nasty."

"Jamie, go on!" Stuart pointed to the door. "Just get on home, would you?"

"Alright. I'm going." Jamie glanced over his shoulder at Cathy before pushing the door open and heading off down the sidewalk.

"Was that your brother?" Cathy asked, calming down.

"Yes." Stuart sat heavily on a stool, breathing into his inhaler.

"He's rather rude."

"You weren't any better."

"I don't care. He started it."

Stuart shook his head. "That's just how he is. But I know you. You're better than that."

"Not when I get provoked, I'm not," she said.

"Just...promise me you won't get into another fight with him, okay?" Stuart looked serious now. "He can get really defensive. Please don't try to upset him again, okay?"

"But he was making me angry!" Cathy folded her arms. "What about him?"

"I'll deal with Jamie, alright? Just promise me."

She sighed. "Fine. I don't see what good it'll do, though. He seems like a rather difficult person." She walked back toward Bob's office.

"Sounds a lot like someone else I know..." Stuart muttered.


	4. 3: Love is the Only Danger

_A/N: This is dedicated to one of the blogs I follow. They read these and really like them, apparently! _

* * *

Love is the Only Danger_  
_

He didn't form attachments to anyone; it was too much investment on his part. Maybe he'd pick up a few girls here and there, have an occasional one-night stand, but it was never permanent.

He could still remember when he knew, when he realized that he might have feelings for her. It was a few days before Christmas, the one before the lotterywin. He'd barely gotten out of trouble with the cops, thanks to his mum, and now she wanted him to get a job. Stuart had promised to pull some strings at Right Buy U, but he still had to interview for it. A bloody interview for stacking shelves, of all things.

He'd been made to wear one of those hideous sweaters he thought he'd kept hidden (obviously not, or his mum wouldn't have found one). He was wearing shoes that were a size too small, and his hair was combed over today. He felt like he was in primary school all over again, getting his picture taken. He was sure he looked absolutely miserable.

She was at the counter talking to Stuart when he walked in, not unlike that day when they'd first met. Stuart had mentioned in passing that she was here with her family for a few weeks. Aside from her hair being shorter, she still looked like her prim and proper self.

She sized him up, a smirk growing on her face. She knew he looked ridiculous, and she was going to tell him so. He felt his face heat up, completely embarrassed. Gritting his teeth, he pushed past her, having a rather hard time holding his tongue.

The interview went well enough. He answered all the questions, and he mentally thanked Stuart for putting a good word in for him. Before he knew it, he was free to go.

He pushed the door open and was about to make the cold trek home when he heard someone behind him. He groaned when he saw who it was.

"You wanna say something? Go ahead. I don't really care." That's what he told himself. He didn't know why her opinion mattered to him at all.

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior." She looked up at him, her eyes hard and serious. "I didn't know it would hurt your feelings."

He blinked, having a hard time believing that she was apologizing. In the eight-and-a-half years he'd known her, she was never one to back down. They were both equally horrid to each other, but knew where to draw the line.

"Is that all?" He tried to keep his expression neutral, but he was glad she was being sincere.

She nodded curtly. "Yes. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back inside before I freeze."

He took her hand before she even turned around. She gazed at him quizzically, and he finally realized what he was doing. _Nice going, mate. Now what are you supposed to do? _

He looked around wildly, trying to come up with an excuse, when his eyes rested above them. Someone had hung mistletoe there. It was sheer dumb luck.

She followed his eyes and giggled, shaking her head. "Of course. Wouldn't expect anything different from you."

He smiled slyly. "Oh, really?"

"I've gotten used to it over the years, I suppose." She returned his smirk. "Now hurry up before we both spend Christmas bedridden with the flu."

He didn't remember his response to that. When he thought back on that moment, all he remembered was his eyes closing and his lips against her cheek. It was quick, soulless, and hollow.

And apparently, this didn't satisfy her.

"My first kiss under a mistletoe, and that's all I get?" She narrowed her eyes. "You know, the least you could do is abide by tradition, Jamie. It's not like I'm asking you to marry me, so I don't see why-"

He captured her lips with his, if only to make her stop talking. He didn't intend to make it last longer than a second, but somehow his brain had shut off and his body had taken over. There was a funny feeling in his chest, one he couldn't describe; he felt her smile into his mouth, causing him to shiver.

When they pulled apart, her cheeks were flushed and her face was radiant. "Thank you, Jamie. Happy Christmas."

He nodded. "Happy Christmas, Cathy."

She walked back into the store, but not before giving him a timid smile over her shoulder.

It was halfway home, right before he was going to cross a busy street, when it hit him. That strange feeling he got when he saw her, why her opinion actually mattered to him, the way she felt in his arms when he held her.

He fancied her. He had very real feelings for her.

He was in danger of falling in love.

He did nothing about it, especially after he was hired. The manager, Bob, made it clear early on that he would always be viewed as a troublemaker, an ex-druggie, irredeemable. He saw how close Bob was to her, how he treated her so much like she was his own. He didn't need it spelled out to him that she was off-limits.

It didn't help that she acted as if nothing had happened. The next time he saw her, over her spring holiday, she was back to her tightly-wound self, never bringing it up and getting annoyed with him like she always did.

He acted like it didn't bother him. He could have any girl he set his eyes on. He was young, he was attractive; what did he care if one shrimp of a girl didn't return his feelings?

The girls he met would treat him one of two ways: they would ignore him for being such a tosser, or would get turned on by him being such a tosser. She didn't fit into either of those categories. She was somewhere in the middle, not quite accepting him, but not rejecting him either.

It wasn't until he found out that she was moving in with her uncle for a while that he decided to act on his emotions. Much to his discomfort, they hadn't gone away. And he had a feeling that they weren't going to up and leave any time soon.

He steeled himself up over the summer, and by fall, he knew for sure what it was he wanted.

He, Jamie Bradley, wanted to tell Catherine Davies that he was in love with her.

And he was sure it all would have gone over well.

Until the syndicate happened.


	5. 4: October 13, The Car Ride

10/13/11 - The Car Ride

"Not feeling well this morning…up all night…been getting a bit lightheaded…"

The clink of metal on ceramics startled Cathy out of listening to her uncle talking on thephone. Annie was furiously stirring her morning tea, and just as quickly stopped, a watchful eye on Bob.

Cathy halfheartedly popped the last bit of toast in her mouth, finding it difficult to swallow. She'd been up for a couple of hours last night, listening to her uncle coughing, pacing back and forth across the living room floor. She had sat for a good thirty minutes, peering at him unnoticed from behind the wall, feeling like a child up past her bedtime.

He was trying to get one of his sons to drive him to work today. She gritted her teeth; he wouldn't have this problem if she bloody manned up and got her license. She knew that's what Annie was thinking, hell, Bob was probably think it, as well. Her parents were on her about it enough as it was. "Well, if you had your license, you could…"

"I'll get dressed and drive you into work." Annie was now in the other room, talking to Bob. Cathy slumped in her chair, feeling even worse.

"No, no…you've been up all night, too. I'll be fine…"

_I'll be fine, if only Cathy could drive me. _

"Cathy? We should be heading out now, dear!"

Shakily, she stood up from the table, following her uncle to the front door.

"Hope your meeting goes well," Annie said, giving her a hug.

"Hope so, as well," Bob replied. "Don't know what it could be about. I'll call you when it's over."

As soon as the door was open, Cathy bounded down the steps to the passenger door of her uncle's car. She had completely forgotten about all that. The owner was coming in today to speak with them, but he wasn't disclosing about what. Maybe they were adding on or something…

"Someone's eager this morning," Bob said, raising his eyebrows.

Cathy shrugged. "I'm always like this," she lied, a strand of hair looped around her finger.

They didn't say anything else until they were sitting at a stop light, the only sound the muted purr of the engine.

"Uncle Bob?"

"Yes?"

She flinched, looking down at her hand. She'd tugged a hair loose, and now it sat in her palm. It wasn't very noticeable, but she could feel it, tickling her skin.

"I'm sorry I can't drive. You've got enough to worry about, and you didn't sleep well, and now you have to drive both of us to work, and it should be my job to do that, but I can't, because I don't have my license, and -"

"Cathy, there's no need to apologize. Didn't you tell me you didn't _want_ your license?"

"But it would be a good thing to have," she countered. "Like right now."

Bob flipped on the right blinker and pulled over to the shoulder. He turned to face his niece.

"I'm not going to deny that you're right. It would be very nice if you could drive. I wouldn't have to call my sons for help, and I wouldn't have to worry about falling asleep at the wheel.

"_But_…the fact is that you're not in a position to drive. And I'm not going to push that, because there's no point in doing so. We're going to work with what we have, not dwell on what we don't."

Cathy, who had been studying the gray of the car floor, shyly met her uncle's gaze. He didn't look angry, or even disappointed.

"I don't want you worrying about something like that, alright? You have your own troubles, and you don't need mine on top of that." He smiled. "I'm tougher than I look, Cathy. You're old uncle's gonna be just fine."

She nodded feebly. "Okay," she said.

"Don't look so serious all the time," he said, pulling her into a hug. "Come on, now. Give me a smile, Cathy. I know you want to."

Despite herself, she felt the corners of her mouth tugging up at the corners.

"I think I see it! Don't make me have to count for it. One…two…"

A full-blown smile appeared, and she couldn't help but start laughing.

"There it is. That's my Cathy," he said, returning her smile.

"Thanks, Uncle Bob." She felt better, more so than she had.

"Your welcome. And I think it's time we get ourselves to work! Wouldn't want to miss that big meeting, would we?"


	6. 5: October 13, The Reality Check

10/13/11 - The Reality Check

_Sorry I'm late. I was almost burned alive this morning because I didn't have enoughmoney to pay for the cocaine I bought off a drug dealer._

Perfect way to get fired from the one job he'd actually managed to keep.

The tape had been pretty strong, he could at least give them credit for that. It hadn't even touched his skin, and yet it felt like his arms were on fire. He was still rubbing them when he walked into Right Buy U and found that no one was there.

Instinct told him they'd be in the back room, and as he walked he remembered that there was a meeting today. Well, that was great. He was late on the day of a meeting. And it was with the owner, if he remembered correctly.

Maybe he didn't need an excuse after all. He'd be fired within the first two seconds of entering.

"I promise you, I only found out about this two days ago, and as soon as I did…"

He slid open the door, trying to mask how nervous he really was. Bob was standing next to a man in a suit - that had to be the owner. Denise and Leanne sat obediently in front of Bob's desk, looks of worry and concern on their faces. Cathy stood to the side, arms folded.

"Sorry I'm late," he muttered, closing the door.

"Glad someone decided to show up," he heard Cathy say under her breath. He quickly shot her a glare, his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands.

"Cathy…" Bob gave her a warning look as he checked his watch. "This is Stuart's brother, Jamie. They're both usually on time."

Stuart's brother. His already-fueled temper rose another notch. He was sick of people addressing him like that. He was his own person, he didn't always have to be compared to Stuart.

"Pleased to meet you, Jamie," the man in the suit said, inclining his head.

"I'm sorry, Bob," Jamie started before he could really think. Maybe if he apologized enough, he wouldn't be sacked. "I messed up, and -"

"We're all being made redundant!" Leanne cut in before he had the chance to get on his knees and actually start the begging.

It took a second for the news to sink in. "You're joking!" This couldn't be happening. He could understand if he himself got laid off, but all of them? Even Bob?

"We've been bought out," Bob said by way of explanation. "Where _is_ Stuart?" he added, sitting down.

_Goddammit, if you say another word about him, I'll…_

"He's on his way in. He had a row with his missus," Jamie said quickly before his thoughts came tumbling out of his mouth. He still couldn't quite believe all of this. They'd been bought out? Just like that?

Apparently Bob read his mind. "That's what I don't get. Why now?" He pointed to the safe across the room. "I mean, Friday and Saturday alone put over six grand in that safe! And with rollover weekends, sometimes we take in even more!"

"Douchebags with money to burn," was what he though came out of Cathy's mouth. He couldn't be sure; he was still in shock.

The suit man then offered them gin and whiskey, and Jamie vaguely remembered switching his mind to gin at the last minute. It was all sort of a blur after that, and of course he had little to no time to think about it.

"What are you gonna do when we close up?" Denise asked later that day.

"Dunno," he answered honestly. "Sign on, bugger off…I'll sell my body."

"Jamie!"

"I ain't kidding! I'm desperate!" Those words were still in his head. Tomorrow night. Or there'd be trouble. "I need to make some money…"

* * *

He needed a plan, and fast. His dad couldn't pull through for him, and he didn't get paid for another week. And even then there wouldn't be enough…

Hadn't Bob said something about six grand in the safe in his office? That was more than enough. He just needed a way in…

The door opened, and Cathy walked out, popping her chewing gum. She stood beside him, leaning against the brick wall. They stood in silence, watching the oak tree across the street lose the last of its leaves.

She'd been the last thing on his mind, but now that she was literally less than a centimeter away, she'd flown right to the front. He still hadn't told her that she'd been on his mind since Christmas, that maybe he wanted to be more than friends with her. That there was a good chance he was in love with her.

No, not more than a good chance. He definitely was in love with her. He was just too afraid to admit that.

"So where the hell were you this morning?" she asked.

"Slept in late," he answered, deciding he liked that excuse.

"Surprised Amy and Stuart didn't wake you up with their bickering." She glanced at him through her peripheral vision. "And I'm sure your mum joined in, as well."

"What're you getting at?" He turned his head, raising his eyebrows.

"There's no way you 'slept in'. Something else was going on, Jamie."

He'd been keen on not telling anyone about relapsing into coke. He usually only snorted when he was really stressed out, like he was right now. He'd been pretty good at not using it very often, and more importantly, not letting people on that he still had it.

"I'm a heavy sleeper," he replied, shrugging. "Simple as that."

She sighed. "Jamie, I worry about you sometimes."

"Don't worry your pretty little head about me. I'm doing just fine."

"Maybe anyone else would believe that, but I don't." Her face softened. "You know I hate it when you keep things from me."

"If something was bugging me, I'd tell you, alright?" It was a lie, but maybe she'd believe it.

She didn't have time to say anything, because her uncle poked his head out the door right then. "Jamie, could I have a word, lad?"

"Course, Bob." He turned back to Cathy. "I appreciate your concern, but there's no need. So you can just calm down now."

It could have been that he loved keeping her on her toes about her feelings for him, or maybe he was tired of keeping to himself about her. Whatever it was, he ducked his head forward, pressing his lips on her cheek, which almost immediately went warm.

It was funny, how something so simple could fetch such strong emotions from him. Even after he'd pulled away, grinning as he left her standing with a deer-in-headlights look, his mind was racing almost as fast as his heart. As he followed Bob to his office, he tried to ignore the butterflies that had been let loose in his stomach.

"Have a seat, Jamie," Bob instructed, and that's when it really hit him that he could be in serious trouble.

He was getting laid off earlier than everyone else, wasn't he? Or he was getting redacted for being late. His mind quickly fished for the right words to defend himself, but it was still a mess from moments earlier.

"Bob…if this is about this morning, I'm really sorry, I-I didn't mean to be late like that…"

"What? No, it's fine, son, it's…it's fine." He looked distracted, but Jamie couldn't blame him for that.

Wait. Bob had said it wasn't about being late. So he was off the hook for that. Maybe he wasn't going to be hounded after all.

Then why…?

"Just wanted to check in with you and see how you're doing…although I think Cathy's already taken care of that."

Jamie almost laughed, but Bob's face betrayed no sign of his words being a joke, so he kept his own face blank.

"The funny thing is I worry about her a lot more than she thinks I do," Bob said. "And I wouldn't have to if it weren't for you, Jamie."

Jamie's eyebrows knitted together. "Why's that?"

Bob sighed, giving him a pointed look. "There's a certain level of trust I allow with you. And so far, you've been good at not making me rethink that."

This was nothing new. Bob had been reluctant to hire him in the first place, and even after almost a year, he was still looked upon like the delinquent he was.

"Cathy…Cathy's where I draw the line, son."

His heart plummeted. Why he hadn't seen this talk coming was beyond him. It was unspoken that he couldn't go after her like that. She was Bob's niece, and he was an alleged ex-druggie. There wasn't much more to it.

All the same, he wouldn't let Bob know it bothered him. He wasn't going to betray any emotion, anything to indicate this hurt him.

"I don't mind you two being friends, but I know what you really want." He looked over his glasses at the younger man, his eyes taking on a coldness that was uncharacteristic for him. "And I'm here to tell you you're not getting it. Not from my niece."

_Maybe if you gave me a chance, I'd surprise you, Mr. I've-Got-You-All-Figured-Out. Maybe I'd be the perfect little gentleman you so obviously think I'm incapable of being. _

"Do you follow me, son?"

Jamie nodded, fighting the urge to grit his teeth, to get up and leave right now. He had to be submissive…he had to. There was too much at stake.

"I'm just warning you right now: if I even suspect you're trying something funny with her, you will regret it, Jamie. I won't hesitate, you hear me?"

He nodded again, almost visualizing the cartoon steam coming out of Bob's ears at the sight of such a scummy little bad boy like him kissing the virginal goodness that was his niece. He found himself almost laughing again, but bit the inside of his mouth.

"Do you understand, Jamie?"

"Yes," he said, suddenly realizing the full impact of what this meant.

"Alright, then." Bob got up from his desk and extended his hand. "Thank you."

Did he think this was a bloody business deal? He shook hands anyway, wishing he could spit in Bob's face and forget this whole thing.

But as he left the office, he started wondering. Would Cathy be better off if he never told her how he felt? Did she even see him that way? Maybe Bob was right. Maybe things would be better if he didn't say anything. Maybe he should stop speaking to her altogether.

No. He could never do that. He would never do that.

But…if it made her happy…then perhaps he should…

"Stuart?" Denise held the shop phone out to him. "It's the hospital. Stuart's fainted."

Jamie sighed, taking the phone. As if things weren't complicated enough…


	7. 6: How Not to Ask a Girl Out

Key:

Regular type: Jamie

_Italics: Cathy_

How Not to Ask a Girl Out

"What's wrong? Am I bothering you?"

_"You just think you're so amusing, don't you?"_

"I don't think I am. I know I am."

_"See? That's what I'm talking about! You're the most aggravating human being I've ever met!"_

"Why, thank you. I do work at it. Especially where you're concerned."

_"You overconfident, snarky -"_

"Would you just shut up for one second? I'm trying to ask you out properly. But if you don't want me to…"

_"What makes you think I want to go out with you?"_

"You can't deny it; I'm irresistible."

_"Which is why I'm resisting you and walking away."_

"Oh, come on. Would you just stop and think for a second about why I would want to be so annoying? Maybe I don't know another way to get your attention."

_"Or maybe you're trying to guilt me into letting you lure me to bed."_

"I'd never do something like that. Not with you."

_"…You're serious?"_

"Yes."

_"And…you want my attention?"_

"Isn't that what I just said?"

*silence*

"You know…you've got really pretty eyes."

_"Thank you."_

"Just thought you should know." *walks away*

_"Seven-thirty on Friday works."_

"Huh?"

_"I said, seven-thirty on Friday. If you're still keen on taking me out."_

"You want to?"

_"Just say yes before I change my mind."_

"Okay, okay! Friday at seven-thirty. I'll see you then."

_"Alright. See you."_

*Jamie kisses Cathy on the cheek*

_*blushes* "Thank you…"_

"You're very pretty when you blush. Something else you should know."


	8. 7: 14 October 2011, 9:54 am

_Decided to try using the one-shots in context. So, yes, you've read some of this before. But it's in context now. ;)_

14 October, 2011 - 9:54 a.m.

It hadn't left her mind all night. That horrible nagging feeling. So what if Uncle Bob was able to get a new job? When would that be? They had to do construction first, right? Tear it all down to build whatever the hell they'd decided to build on that spot. So who knew when he'd actually be able to apply?

And where was she supposed to get her money now? Her parents wouldn't be happy to hear she'd lost her job so quickly. They probably wouldn't even listen to the whole story; all they would hear was "I'm unemployed". They'd find a way to make her feel rotten about it, even if it wasn't her fault.

She'd scoured the newspaper that morning, but the job market was, of course, not the best. Uncle Bob had told her to keep her chin up and stay positive. That had worked when she was six and didn't have to worry about supporting herself.

On top of that, she'd heard him up in the night again, coughing and pacing. She was about ready to make him an appointment at the clinic, even though he insisted to her and Annie that it was just a bug and he'd be better soon.

Because it was bad enough that Stuart had to go to the hospital in the middle of the day for an asthma attack. Lord knows what Bob could be sent in for.

Stuart. Of course! He'd just had a baby yesterday - or, rather, Amy had, but it was his baby. And he already had a son. And young kids like that needed a nanny of sorts…

She felt bad for even thinking it, but she was desperate. She'd been a regular babysitter back in London, and had gotten paid pretty well for it. And at least she knew Stuart, so he wouldn't be entrusting his children to a complete stranger.

She decided to wait a bit. Amy would no doubt be staying at home, on maternity leave from whatever it was she did. (She'd have to ask Stuart later.) But she'd have to go back to work, eventually, and although watching the kids usually fell to Stuart's mum, Joyce, maybe she could convince them…

"Cathy!"

Cathy blinked. "Huh? What?"

"We all here today?" Leanne asked jokingly.

Cathy grunted her reply, accidentally hitting her head on a shelf of Pringles.

"Better look alive," Denise said, nodding to the door.

Leanne let Stuart and Jamie in, and it took all she had not to dart around the corner and hide. She didn't need to wrangle with how she felt for Jamie at the moment; she already had enough to deal with.

She had a clear getaway when he went to pay Denise for their lottery ticket, followed by him going to the backroom to put his bag away. She quickly walked down one of the aisles, occupying herself with staring at the frozen food that sat behind the freezer door.

Her uncle and the others insisted on putting in money each week for a lottery ticket; they were never going to win, so what was the point? She'd never really seen what was so special about the lottery: buying a little piece of paper that made you feel worse about yourself when you didn't win. She shivered, realizing it'd be a good idea to move away from the frozen foods.

"Goooooood morning, Catherine."

She stopped midstep, not turning around. His footsteps got closer, and they stopped right behind her. She swallowed, trying to recover her voice from whatever had happened to it.

"Nice to see you, too, James," she said evenly, straightening her shoulders. "I wasn't aware we were addressing each other so formally all of a sudden."

"Well, why not? Changes things up a bit, yeah?" A few strands of her hair had left her head. _He was playing with her hair. _

"Are you really that fascinated by my hair?" she asked, turning around.

"It got you to turn around, didn't it?" He smirked at her, promptly dropping the strand he'd been holding.

"I'm not going to answer that," she said, rolling her eyes and making to walk back up front.

"What's wrong?" He blocked her way, his smug smile growing. "Am I bothering you?"

She exhaled, trying to keep her temper in check. "No…you're just -"

"Just what?"

She laughed, despite herself. "You just think you're so amusing, don't you?"

"I don't think I am. I know I am." He arched an eyebrow, something that she secretly loved.

_Cocky bastard._

"See? That's what I'm talking about!" she exclaimed, narrowing her eyes. "You're the most aggravating human being I've ever met!"

And he was. He was always so obnoxious, always joking around with her. And yet…he was so much more than that. But he refused to acknowledge that about himself, which, in turn, made him even more maddening.

"Why, thank you." He stepped closer, their noses close to touching. "I do work at it. Especially where you're concerned."

She shoved him away. "You overconfident, snarky -"

"Would you just shut up for one second?"

"I don't have to listen to you."

"Cathy." His tone had grown serious. He took a deep breath, suddenly looking nervous. "I'm trying to ask you out properly."

She must have heard him wrong. It sounded like he'd said something about asking her out. But there was no way he'd said anything of the sort. And she told him so.

"Jamie, don't screw around with me about that, okay?"

"I'm not. I'd like to ask you out. Not as a friend, as a…you know…"

Maybe he wasn't playing around - for once. Maybe he was being honest this time about his intentions. Maybe…maybe she didn't have to feel stupid about her feelings for him, because he felt the same way.

He shrugged. "If you don't want me to, I'll just…"

_Stop him! Stop him right now! _

"What makes you think I want to go out with you?" she asked bemusedly, hands on her hips. She wasn't going to give in _that _easily.

For a moment, she thought he wasn't going to say anything else stupid. If only she'd been so lucky.

"You can't deny it; I'm irresistible." He arched his eyebrows again, that devilish smile on his face. She should have known it was too good to be true.

"Which is why I'm resisting you and walking away." Her feet started moving away from him, her mind telling her to keep going, her instinct screaming at her to turn back.

"Oh, come on, Cathy. Would you just stop and think for a second about why I would want to be so annoying? Maybe I don't know another way to get your attention."

This made her turn around. Why couldn't she accept his sincerity? Why was she questioning him? This is what she'd wanted, wasn't it?

"Or maybe you're trying to guilt me into letting you lure me to bed," she said, regretting saying it as soon as the words left her mouth.

He stepped closer, his eyes betraying only that he was thinking hard about something. "I'd never do something like that," he said quietly. "Not with you."

"…You're serious?" She'd almost forgotten to speak; the nearness of him made her throat close up.

"Yes."

"And…you want my attention?"

"Isn't that what I just said?"

She tried to answer him, but no words came. They stood there in silence, Cathy wishing she was brave enough to draw him into a hug, remind him that she saw much more than he thought she did…

"You know…," he said after a moment, "you've got really pretty eyes."

"Thank you."

He inclined his head slightly. "Just thought you should know," he added, turning to walk away. And she was letting him.

Why was she letting him?

"Seven-thirty next Friday works."

He spun around, clearly confused. "Huh?"

"I said, seven-thirty next Friday." She smiled. "If you're still keen on taking me out as a…you know…"

"You want to?"

When had he become doubtful about anything? She shook her head. "Just say yes before I change my mind."

"Okay, okay! Next Friday at seven-thirty. I'll pick you up and…I'll take you out to dinner. Sound good?"

"Yeah." She tried to control the joy that threatened to spill out of her mouth. "That sounds…perfect." More than perfect. Fantastic. She was going to go out with him. On a date.

He interrupted her musings by striding forward and once again getting too close for her liking. But instead of teasing her, he leaned down and placed a kiss gently on her cheek. Yesterday he'd caught her off-guard by how quick and joking it had been. But this time…it was sweet and nice and she just wanted it to last forever.

When he did pull away, she managed to squeak out a "Thank you". He nodded, running his fingertips across her cheek, causing her face to heat up and her skin to prickle.

"You're very pretty when you blush," he whispered. "Something else you should know."

He left after that, and once again she stood alone with her thoughts and the frozen foods. But she was sure that she was shivering for a whole different reason now.


	9. 8: The Park

The Park

After visiting Bob in the hospital, Jamie texted Cathy to meet him in the park.

He was sitting on the bench facing the lake, the one they usually occupied to have their longer discussions. He occupied himself by skipping rocks as he waited for her to get there. He was feeling something he hadn't felt in a long time: guilt.

Cathy, confused as to why he wanted to see her, biked to the park. Upon dismounting her bike, Jamie attacked her with a hug, breaking down and crying for the first time in what seemed like years.

Cathy didn't ask questions. She just sat with him in silence for a while, holding his hand. She couldn't know that he was regretting robbing Right Buy U, regretting bashing her uncle over the head. He couldn't have her find out about all that.

It really was better if he never spoke to her again.

He held her in his arms for a long time before quietly thanking her, giving her a kiss on the forehead, and walking away.


	10. 9: In His Eyes

In His Eyes

Cathy repeatedly told the police the same story. The night of 14 October, she went home with her uncle, Bob Davies, but he had to turn the car around because he'd forgotten his cellphone.

She waited patiently in the parking lot for a few minutes, but suddenly a man dressed in a black hoodie ran out of Right Buy U. After he'd gone, she rushed in to find Stuart frantically staunching the blood from flowing out of Bob's head.

They'd called the police after that, and Cathy sat with Annie in the ER's waiting room all night.

The one thing she didn't tell the police was that she'd gotten a good look at the robber's eyes. For a few days, she made the excuse that it was dark, and she'd been seeing things. But the more she thought about it, the more she knew that what she'd seen hadn't been her imagination.

They were the same eyes that made her heart leap; the same eyes that she could recognize anywhere, even in a dimly lit parking lot.

Those eyes belonged to Jamie Bradley.


	11. 10: Conflicts of the Heart

_Dedicated to Matthew Lewis, who lost money because I watched part of Episode 2 on watchseries illegally, and godyoutosspots, who likes my headcanons._

__Conflicts of the Heart

The first thing out of her mouth when she saw the Ferrari was, "Oh, Jesus…"

The second thing out of her mouth was, "What the fuck?", due to Jamie's outlandish getup.

And the third thing out of her mouth, "I…I don't believe it," was because of the CCTV footage.

It was hard not to say anything to the officer, especially with Jamie right there. He hadn't been speaking to her for a week, which she found rather odd. After that day in the park, one would almost think he…liked her.

But his alibi wasn't matching up, so maybe she wouldn't have to rat him out.

But what about Bob? If anything, she should turn Jamie in for him. He needed to know who his assailant was.

But she and Jamie were friends…she couldn't just do that.

She gave the police her fingerprints, and went outside to think.

Jamie came out ten minutes later, followed by Stuart. She was hardly listening to their conversation; she felt her anger continue to rise, the roaring in her ears blocking everything else out.

Jamie slammed the driver door shut, obviously not in a good mood. She found she didn't care.

She pushed past Stuart just as the engine revved. She pounded on the window. "Jamie!"

He rolled down the window, obviously irritated. "What?"

"I need to talk to you."

"I've got somewhere to be."

She grabbed the collar of his jacket. "You've got time. I know you do."

He sighed, turning off the engine and getting out of the car. "So talk. What's so important that you have to say it right now?"

Why was he being such a jerk all of a sudden? He was a jerk, normally, but at least he was joking half the time. Now he was…she didn't even know. And she didn't like it.

"Come on, get it out," he said, folding his arms in exasperation.

Her palm was suddenly stinging; he held the side of his face, which was now bright red. "What the bloody hell was that for?! That hurt!"

Pursing her lips, she glared up at him. That…was an excellent question, actually.

Was it because of what he'd done to Bob? To her? She didn't know. She did know that it had felt good to smack him.

"What's _with _you?" He frowned, looking angry and…concerned? "You supposedly have something you have to tell me right this second, and all you've done is given me a welt on my face."

"Now you know how it feels," she muttered.

"What?"

"If you cared, you would have heard it."

"What are you getting on about?"

She gritted her teeth, wishing she could slap him again. "Just because you won the lottery doesn't make you better than me, Jamie. If you want to ignore me, then go ahead. But do me a favor and do it for a valid reason, alright?"

"Cathy, you don't even know -"

"Why are you ignoring me, then?"

He looked like he wanted to say something, but he opened his mouth and then closed it several times. He eventually said, rather unconvincingly, "I'm not ignoring you."

She shook her head. "I'm not going to put up with this anymore. So have a nice life, Jamie. Shouldn't be too hard with all your money. Oh, and make sure you treat the next girl you trick into falling for you with respect, alright?"

He blinked, stunned. "You…you're not…" He suddenly drew himself up, staring down at her. "I will. For your sake."

She gave him a cold smile. "Kiss my ass."

She hadn't walked five feet when he called, "Bend over, then! You might enjoy it!"

She jumped on her bike and sped home. She crashed into the tree in the front yard and fell off, skinning both her knees. She didn't bother to get up; she just lay on the ground and cried. Annie, arriving home a few minutes later from visiting Bob, took her inside.


	12. 11: Broken Promises

Key:

Regular type: Jamie

_Italics: Cathy_

Broken Promises

"Is there a reason you're avoiding me?"

_"I don't know what you mean by that."_

"Right. You know exactly what I mean."

_"If you're going to pick a fight with me, then you can just forget about me going out with you. Or did you already forget? I heard that you had yourself a little date the other night."_

"Your uncle's in the hospital, and all you're worried about is me going out with someone else? I thought you weren't that shallow."

_"Don't bring him into this! I spend at least two hours with him every day AND continually volunteer at that pitiful corner store he calls a super market. I can't believe you'd try to pin this all on me. But what am I supposed to expect from a druggie?"_

"Would you shut up? It's been a year! I'm not going back to that."

_"Well, obviously your morals are still mixed up if you think I'm going to just accept the fact that you ask me out, and then turn around and gallivant off with a girl you met by chance. I'm not going to wait for you forever, Jamie."_

"Would it help to say that I'm sorry?"

_"No, it wouldn't. And even if I still wanted to go out with you, I wouldn't. The police are still trying to figure out that burglary."_

"Your point?"

_"Would it look very good for the niece of one of the victims to be seen with a possible suspect with a track record in drugs?"_

"Who cares? It's not like I did it."

_"I'm not saying you did. I'm saying that my uncle is a little bit more important at the moment."_

"Is that what you're saying? That I don't matter?"

_"Why would you care if it was? It seems to me all you care about is adding another dimwitted girl to your list of hook-ups!"_

*silence*

"Cathy…are you scared of me?"

_"Don't be an idiot."_

"Are you scared of me?"

_"…Yes."_

"Cathy…don't be."

_"How can I not be? You terrify me sometimes. You act so…suddenly. You don't think."_

"It's just the way I am. I'm not gonna change."

_"I know."_

*silence*

"I hope you realize that I didn't ask you out because I want sex."

_"What am I supposed to think, Jamie? A guy I've known for a few years, thinks he's the king of the world, gotten into trouble, all of a sudden wants to take me on a date. Never shown any interest in me before. There's a catch somewhere. I know there is."_

"What if there isn't?"

_"Then you're either crazy to even fancy me, or you're one hell of a liar, Jamie Bradley."_

"Well, I may be a damn good liar, but I'm not lying to you about this."

_"So you're just crazy."_

"I may be crazy, but I'm crazy for you."

_"Please don't ever say that again."_

"What? Was it that corny?"

_"Very."_

"Fine. I won't say it again. I'll just tease you with my other corny one-liners."

_*giggles* "You wouldn't."_

"Try me."

*silence*

"I suppose I should kiss you know, shouldn't I?"

_"I'd like that."_


	13. 12: The Talk

The Talk

Things were already bad. She didn't know how long he had to live. She didn't want to think about when…_if_…

She walked around in a fog for a couple of days, trying to focus, trying not to think. She'd lose him…there was no way around it…

"Cathy? You have a moment, dear?"

She'd always have a moment for him. She wanted to make him happy. If he…when he…

"I know this will be hard for you to hear…"

Everything was hard to hear. The shop was closing, there'd been a robbery…Uncle Bob was…had a…didn't have long to…

"…and I understand that you and Mr. Bradley are good friends…"

No, they weren't. He was a douche. He didn't care about her. He'd never cared. How could she have spent all this time thinking he was any different? She was an idiot…how didn't she see it sooner?…

"…but I'd like for you to give him some space."

She wanted to say that it was the other way around…but let him think what he wanted…she didn't have the heart to tell him he was wrong…

"He's not good for you, Cathy. He's a troublemaker, and I just want you to be safe."

She felt her head nod. So heavy…so…heavy…

"I don't want your heart to break."

It was too late. Her chest was heavy…it was going to be for a long time…

"Cathy? I know you'll hate me for this. I'm just…I don't want my niece to be hurt. Especially if I'm not there to…"

A pang went through her. She closed her eyes, holding in her tears. Not now. She wasn't going to cry. Not now. Not here. Not ever.

"Just…please. Could you listen to your old uncle?"

She looked up, grinding her teeth as a tear escaped. "It won't be a problem," she said evenly.

"Cathy, I…"

"I'll be fine," she said, more convincingly. She forced a smile. "It's not going to be a problem."

He nodded. "I feel terrible, but…"

"Don't. It's for the best, right?"

She slept soundly that night. It was the first time in a week.


	14. 13: Coincidence vs Fate

Maybe It's Coincidence, Maybe It's Fate

Biking helped to clear her mind. She knew a lot of girls her age would rather speed off in their expensive convertibles if trouble struck, but she was much more content with her mountain bike.

(There was the fact that she couldn't even drive legally, but she didn't want to think about that at the moment.)

Her uncle had decided to have a party at the most expensive hotel in Leeds. She didn't ask why; she supposed it was something only a lottery winner would understand. Or maybe it was something only someone who didn't have long to live would understand.

No. Not now. Don't think that.

She had a suitcase all ready to go, even though she wasn't staying the night. She was going to go straight to Stuart and Amy's; Joyce needed help with Jack and Daisy, since Stuart would be at the hotel and Amy was going out for the night (God only knew where the hell she was going).

She couldn't continue working at Right Buy U. It was just too much. The new manager was vile, and people were only there to see the syndicate (only to find a bunch of nobodys). She couldn't be there without remembering that Uncle Bob had resigned because of his tumor.

No. Not now. Don't think that.

Think of something else. Lovely flowers. Yes. There were lovely flowers. Lots of them. Odd for October. Don't question it. Enjoy. Keeps from thinking. Thinking about death.

NO. NOT NOW. DON'T THINK THAT.

Her grip on the handlebars tightened as an uncomfortable wave of warmth overcame her. She really just wanted to stop pretending everything was okay. She'd love nothing more than to drop her bike, run out in the middle of the street, and scream. Scream about how unfair this was.

She had to settle for the park. She could sit on their - _her_ - bench and think. Try to calm down…

"Lost in thought, are we?"

She jerked her head to her left, swerving and almost falling off. She hadn't even noticed anyone approaching her. So who had decided to interrupt her internal self-argument?

The red Ferrari was all that was needed for her blood to run cold.

She frowned, quickly taking in his plaid shirt and brown puffy vest. What did he think he was, a peacock? Trying to make everyone on earth notice how outlandish he looked?

She turned away, not saying anything. She continued down the sidewalk, going at a leisurely pace. He wouldn't follow her; he couldn't.

And yet he was.

"You look a bit tense there. Loosen up a bit. Wrinkles aren't exactly flattering on you."

She stared straight ahead, not speeding up, thinking about the refuge of the bench. Just a few more blocks.

"Well, then. We aren't in a good mood today. No reason to be rude."

Damn him. Was he really that insensitive? Had he forgotten what he'd done? What he was hiding? What the repercussions of the robbery had on her?

She felt her feet pump faster, carrying her away from him. She rounded the corner, glad that the road kept going straight.

* * *

"Are you trying to pass this off as a coincidence, or are you purposefully trying to annoy me?"

He sat next to her; she saw his vest from her peripheral vision. "Whichever one works for you."

They lapsed into silence. They sat on opposite sides of the bench, just watching the light breeze make ripples on the pond.

"I don't want to talk to you." Her own voice surprised her.

"You don't want to, or you're not supposed to?"

"Does it really matter?" She felt her mouth quirk up at the corners. "You're going to twist it, and make me angry. So you might as well just shut up and leave."

"Where else is there to go? I already went and bugged Stuart, and I've still got a spare few hours."

"You co-own a strip club, don't you? Go pick up a hooker or something."

His hesitation should have tipped her off, but she wasn't thinking at the time to piece it together.

"I find," he said after a moment, "that this -" he slid closer to her "- is much more satisfying."

He swung an arm around her, holding her to his side. She tried to move, but he was stronger than he looked. "Jamie, let go."

"Don't you enjoy my company?"

"No. I'd rather you go back to ignoring me." She pushed him off, frowning at how easy the action was.

"You…you really want that?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. Right now…I just…need to think."

She felt his hand cover hers. She finally turned her head to look at him. His face didn't betray anything other than remorse.

She had hoped that her heart would stop racing and her stomach would stop filling with butterflies when he would get close to her. But that wasn't the case. She could feel her cheeks turning red as he continued to stare at her.

She suddenly realized how easy it would be for them to…to…to what? She didn't even want him there. She should bike home, forget about him. What was keeping her on this bench? Why was she still holding his hand?

And why was she hoping that he'd lean in closer?

That kiss under the mistletoe last Christmas. Sitting with him and letting him vent about all his troubles. Seeing that he had a vulnerable side. It was all anchoring her to that spot, making her want something she knew she would regret.

They stayed frozen like that for the longest time. Jamie finally came toward her; she closed her eyes, preparing to push him away.

His lips were on her cheek, making her blush harder. She felt light-headed, unable to do anything but accept his kiss. He let his lips linger before moving them to her ear.

"I don't believe in coincidences," he whispered, sending a shiver through her. "But I believe in fate."

He got up abruptly, as if he hadn't said anything. "I'll see you tonight." He gave her a cheeky smile and walked down the path.

She forced herself to mount her bike and ride home as soon as he was out of sight. She shakily tried to keep her balance the whole way there.

At least she had something else to think about now.


	15. 14: Love is Worth Forgiving For

_A/N: This is what I'm hoping the story will morph into...or at least one-shots that are written like this. I'm not used to just writing dialogue._

__Love is Worth Forgiving For

_Bloody bastard._

She turned and walked away. She wasn't going to do this. She_ couldn't_ do this.

Uncle Bob was right. She should be like Stuart and stay away from him. He would only bring her heartbreak. He was always going to be this way, he wouldn't change. She could hear him murmuring with the walking fruit stand, a perfect excuse to get the hell out of there.

"Cathy?" Bob's hand was on her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she barked.

He looked to where Jamie was. "I thought I told you-"

"It's not a problem anymore." She pulled away and made a beeline for the door; the temperature in the room had suddenly increased significantly.

If anyone came after her, she would clam up; tell them it was cramps or something stupid. She shouldn't be acting so childish, not when Uncle Bob was dying. She should be positive around him, not worrying about her own problems.

She made it to the lobby, which was strangely empty. She collapsed on the floor in front of the hearth, her skirt fanning out around her. She broke down, choking out dry sobs; her tears seemed frozen inside her.

"Cathy?"

"I'm fine," she snapped, whipping her head around. Her eyes softened when she saw it was Stuart. She couldn't lie to him; he would see right through her.

"If it helps, I didn't know…" He sighed.

"Doesn't matter. Uncle Bob told me what he told you: stay away from him." She bit her lip.

"I…I don't know what to say." Stuart knelt next to her, exhaling. "Jamie is an absolute tosser. But…I see the way he looks at you, and…somehow I know he's being honest with himself when it comes to you."

"Mmhmm." Cathy sniffed. "That's why he's got Katy Perry draped all over him."

"I was gonna say Lady Gaga, but that works."

She giggled, smiling a little. Stuart put his arm around her.

"Come on, now. Bob's going to South Africa! You should be happy for him."

She shook her head. "I feel so selfish right now. I'm so grateful he's doing this. He's such a good man." Her eyes hardened. "And then _he _has to come in and spoil everything by being a prick."

"That's what he's best at," Stuart muttered. "But he's not all bad."

Cathy was silent, finally allowing herself to cry. "I don't want to feel so…dependent on him…" She breathed deeply, trying to calm down.

"Hey, hey." Stuart rubbed her shoulder. "It's alright, Cathy…you're fine…"

They sat like that for a few minutes, but it seemed so much longer. Cathy wished that she was back home in London, away from all of this. She didn't want to worry about Uncle Bob, she didn't want to constantly wonder how Annie was fairing, and she most certainly didn't want to talk to Jamie.

"Stu? You out here?"

"Shit," she whispered, shoulders tensing.

"What's this?" She could feel his eyes on her. She didn't want to turn around.

"It's alright, Jamie," Stuart said, standing up. "Just go back and-"

"I'd like to speak with her."

She remained on the floor, quiet.

"Jamie-"

"I'd like to speak with her," he repeated.

A hand appeared in front of her face. She was relieved to see it belonged to Stuart, and allowed him to help her to her feet.

"You want me to stay?"

Oh, did she ever.

"No. I'll be okay."

Stuart nodded, giving Jamie a look before walking away. Cathy glared at her shoes, waiting for him to start talking.

"Cathy, what were you expecting? I'm a millionaire now. I'm supposed to have someone on my arm."

She was quiet, her arms folded in front of her like a shield.

"It doesn't mean anything."

She snorted. "And I'm supposed to believe you?" She finally got the courage to meet his eyes. "This from the man who claimed he didn't smash a whiskey bottle over my uncle's head."

His face was unreadable, but she saw his skin pale.

"I know it was you," she growled. "All the more reason for you to leave me alone."

"Cathy…" He reached out to touch her, but she stepped back.

"Don't you dare. I'll scream, get you kicked out. You don't deserve any of this." She could feel big, ugly tears running down her face. "He's dying, Jamie. And you act like it doesn't matter. It's always about you and what you want."

She'd hit a nerve; she knew she had by the way his eyes came alive. "You don't know any of the shit I've been through."

"I don't need to." She made to walk away, but his hand grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She tried to pull away, but he was stronger than her. She glared up at him.

"Just because you want something you know you can't have-"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Dear Uncle Bob doesn't want his niece canoodling with trash like me." He arched an eyebrow. "I know how it goes. I'm not dense, Cathy."

She gritted her teeth. "Neither am I. She's probably with you because of your money."

"I know for a fact she is."

"Then why are you letting her hang on you?"

Jamie looked right in her eyes. "For once in my life, I want to know that someone is there for me. Even if it means she's with me for the money."

"So you're saying you don't trust me to be there for you?"

She could have sworn he was blushing. "I didn't want to fall for you, okay? I'm not the golden boy your uncle wants you with."

"And when has that ever stopped you?" she asked without thinking.

"Maybe for once, I didn't want to ruin things." He placed his hands on her shoulders, bracing himself. "I thought that if maybe I kept my distance, I'd move on. Forget how I felt. And I was willing to respect Bob's decision that I couldn't be with you because…I honestly wanted to make you happy."

She blinked, stunned. "Is…is that why you stopped talking to me?"

He nodded. "Wasn't exactly easy." He grinned slightly. "You're difficult to ignore."

Cathy looked at the floor, trying to memorize the pattern of the rug at her feet. "Is…is she staying with you?" she asked quietly.

"No." His grin broadened. "Why? Don't tell me you're jealous."

She turned her stony gaze on him again. "Maybe I am. But I doubt you'd even care."

He leaned closer, his breath against her cheek. "Cathy…I care. It's scares the hell out of me how much I care about you. But…I'm willing to allow myself take the risk and go with it."

She didn't get a chance to answer him, because suddenly his lips were gently pressing against hers. She was too surprised to even try to struggle; her feet were stuck to the ground, and there was a little spark that had ignited in her limbs. Her mind was blank as she found her arms circling his neck, pulling him closer. He readily complied, moving one hand to her waist and the other to cup her face as he continued to kiss her.

He slowly pulled away, and Cathy caught her breath, blinking rapidly. _He kissed me. He kissed me. Jamie Bradley kissed me…_

"I'm only gonna go ahead with this if you want me to," he told her.

"Honest?" Her voice was little more than a whisper.

"I might be a selfish dick…but I'd like to try to be good. For you."

She let the air out of her mouth. She could tell him a million things right now; the one she knew she should tell him was to screw himself and go back to his "girlfriend". Her uncle was more important to her than an ex-druggie who was hard to trust.

It's what any normal person would have said. But based on the past few weeks, her life was far from normal.

"Alright," she said. "I'd like to see where it goes." Before he could say anything, she grabbed his collar and crushed their lips together.

When she really thought about it, Cathy realized she really wanted to give Jamie a chance. She wanted him to stop being so thoughtless and make good decisions. She wanted him, despite his flaws.

She wanted him _because _of his flaws.


	16. 15: Everything Worth Living For Part I

Everything Worth Living For - Part I

She'd never believed those stories about women who felt feather-light and happy all the time. She rolled her eyes at those who would claim they were so in love with someone that they swore that the world was bright and sunny. It wasn't practical, or even probable, at least she didn't think so.

One conversation, one look, one kiss changed all that.

And in an instant, Cathy now knew that there was some truth to all those stories.

She told Jamie to go back to his date; it wasn't fair to her if he was seen with someone else. Jamie promised to let her down gently as soon as he got the chance (and when she was sober enough to understand him). "I'll be all yours after that," he said with a roguish smile.

They went their separate ways, acting like nothing had happened. Cathy was the perfect little niece everyone expected her to be, accepting condolences for Bob and making small talk when it was appropriate to do so. Stuart came up to her a few minutes after she'd returned, more concerned than he'd been ten minutes before.

"You got it all sorted?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," she said, making her face neutral.

"He didn't try anything?" Stuart looked incredulous. "Cathy, you gotta tell me the truth, alright? I don't want him to hurt you."

"He won't, okay?" Her eyes flickered to where Jamie stood across the room, trying to nonchalantly pry his date's hands off of his arm. "He and I…we're going to give it a shot."

Stuart's frown deepened. "Don't," he said, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Cathy, please don't."

"Stuart, he promised me he'd get better." She didn't see why he was so perturbed by all of this. If anything, Stuart should be proud of his brother for trying to turn his life around. "He wants to try."

"Doesn't mean he'll actually do it," Stuart replied. "Cathy, you of all people should know how he works. He doesn't think, he just does things. And he hurts people in the process." He sighed, looking over at her uncle. "Can't you at least respect what Bob wants? Can't you give him a bit of solace before he leaves?"

"He doesn't have to know." Cathy's heart began to race. She usually wasn't this adamant about anything. It was almost…exhilarating.

"Cathy…" Stuart shook his head. "I hope you know what you're doing," he mumbled, walking away.

"I do," she said after him. But she'd said it so quietly that she was sure he hadn't even heard her.

* * *

"Jamie, I gotta talk to you."

Jamie turned his head and was met with Stuart's cold glare. "Give me a few more minutes."

"Now."

"I said in a few minutes."

"Jamie." Stuart looked as if at any second, he'd launch himself at Jamie and pummel him to the ground. If there was one thing he didn't need right now, it was to make a ruckus.

"I'll be back, babe," Jamie said to Debbie, who was slumped against the wall. She said something incoherent before he followed Stuart to a secluded corner.

"Stu, if this is about Bob, I'm not gonna listen." Jamie was a bit tired of Stuart's paranoia. They'd gotten away with the robbery, and it hadn't been that much money, anyway. Hell, if he hadn't hit Bob over the head, they might not have found that tumor as soon as they had. "Everything's fine. We're not gonna get caught-"

"Do you love Cathy?"

Jamie blinked. "What?"

"Do you love Cathy?" Stuart repeated.

Jamie kept himself unreadable as Stuart's question made his heart stop. He'd asked himself that same thing over and over again, and no matter how long or how hard he thought about it, the answer was always unclear to him. But he had a feeling that it wouldn't stay that way for much longer.

Instead of saying all that, he scoffed and said, "What kind of a question is that? She's not all bad, if that's what you're asking."

Stuart stepped closer, lowering his voice. "Don't give me that. I want to know, right now. Do you love her? Don't lie to me, Jamie."

He didn't like how Stuart's eyes were boring into him. He didn't want to talk about this now; he didn't want to talk about this _ever_. He wasn't ready to commit to anyone, and he had that nagging voice in the back of his mind that reminded him of how beautiful Amy was…

But it didn't matter if he dated one of the dancers from his club, or fantasized about Stuart's fiance choosing him instead. It didn't matter how hard he tried to keep on Bob's good side, or how much distance he put between himself and Cathy. She had slipped into his heart a while ago, and refused to move. And the worst part was he was fine with her being there.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He'd meet a girl, take her out a few times, hook up with her once or twice, and then dump her. Simple as that. Didn't matter who she was, or if she felt anything, as long as he avoided another incident like the one with Mel.

He didn't want that to happen with Cathy. He knew if he pursued anything more than friendship with her, it would end like all his other relationships had - and even worse, he'd lose her completely. Bob had his reasons for not wanting them together, and they were of sound mind. Things would be easier if he kept himself out of it. But he knew this time he didn't want to.

"I don't know," he said, after what seemed like an eternity of silence. "I don't know right now."

"You don't know," Stuart repeated, clearly disappointed.

"Sorry, did I answer wrong?" Jamie snapped.

"I don't want you to do anything stupid, or so help me you'll regret it, Jamie. If you cared at all about her-"

Jamie grabbed his brother by the collar. "Take that back. Right now!"

The two of them were equally surprised by his outburst. After a few moments, Jamie let go, not taking his eyes off Stuart.

"I know what you're thinking, Stu. I'm not going to do that. Not to Cathy. I…I couldn't. Even if I wanted to. I'm not sure if I…love her…but don't you _ever _tell me I don't care. I might make stupid decisions, but I won't hurt her."

Stuart's eyes hadn't faltered. Jamie returned his icy gaze.

"Are you happy? That's what you wanted, wasn't it? Find out if I've actually got a soul, capable of emotions." He laughed. "Satisfied?"

"Don't make me regret leaving you alone," Stuart muttered, beginning to walk away.

"Since when did you become her father?"

Stuart spun on his heel. "I'm just looking out for her. There's no crime in that."

"Maybe she doesn't need that. Maybe she doesn't want you breathing over her shoulder and telling her what to do."

"Just like she doesn't need more stress when Bob's going to be gone."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

Stuart sighed. "Jamie, I really don't want to fight right now. Just…really think about what being with Cathy means. For her _and _for you." He walked away, signaling that they were done talking.

Jamie leaned his head back, breathing out through his mouth. Stuart wasn't in control of his life; he did what he wanted, no matter what anyone else said.

But there was a little flicker of doubt that appeared suddenly. What if this wasn't a good idea? What if he lost Cathy again? What if-

His eyes met hers from across the room. She smiled at him, her cheeks a delicate shade of pink. He returned it, his heart picking up speed just the slightest. It was over in a second, unnoticable unless you'd been watching closely.

Jamie pulled out his phone, a blush crawling all the way to the tips of his ears. Screw what Stuart said. He would live his life however he wanted. He would be with Cathy, even if it pissed people off. What did he care?

Feeling his resolve coming back, Jamie briskly strode back to where Debbie had passed out on a chair. He looked at the clock on the wall and smirked. He'd show Stuart a thing or two. In a few hours, he'd be rendezvousing with a certain blond fiance…

* * *

Cathy's hip buzzed. She frowned as she pulled her phone out. She could have sworn she'd put it on silent…

"Who is it?" Leanne asked when she saw Cathy's smile.

"Nothing." She shrugged. "Just one of those rubbish daily joke subscriptions."

Even after shutting her phone, she couldn't stop smiling.

_Gonna jet off in a couple hours. I'll be by your room to say goodnight before I do (don't take that as a sexual slant). Bring your dancing shoes. ;)_

_~Jamie_


	17. 16: Everything Worth Living For Part II

_I really don't know where the heck this came from. There's some angst (which I never write) mixed in with the typical fluff that I love writing._

_Um…yeah…I'd definitely like feedback on this. Watching the first 20 minutes of Jamie's episode for a second time definitely convinced me that Jamie does have feelings for Amy. Personally, I think he confused his jealousy for what Stuart had with his feelings, not to say that I think at one point that he did have a crush on Amy. But from what we learn from this episode, I think it's a bit more plausible for him to want her because Stuart has her, more so than him wanting her just because he likes her, and this certainly made him a lot more challenging to write. But who said challenges weren't fun? ;)_

* * *

Everything Worth Living For - Part II_  
_

12:30. Time for him to "turn in".

Or so everybody thought…

"Hey, Bob," Jamie said as he walked past. "Congratulations." And now all he needed to do was make it to the door, and -

"Jamie!"

Shit.

There was Bob, standing in front of him, looking up at him as if expecting an apology. No, not an apology. He didn't know about the robbery, he couldn't possibly be waiting for that…

"You got something to say to me, lad?" Bob asked.

For a second, Jamie was at a loss for words. Bob had him. He knew. But Jamie couldn't let on that he was aware of that. If he was going to get away with this, he had to play dumb.

"Good luck in South Africa, mate," he said, patting Bob on the arm and walking away, Debbie in tow.

Not as smooth as he would have liked, but no matter. He had other things to worry about.

* * *

214…214…where the bloody hell was 214?

He checked his phone again. Maybe he'd read it wrong.

No, he hadn't. She'd said 214. She'd be there at around a quarter to 1, packing her things and catching a cab back to Stuart's so she could help his mother manage Jack and Daisy.

She'd lied to him. She'd mixed up the numbers on purpose, or given him a completely random one. He was reading her all wrong. A small part of him hoped that she was. He would feel a lot less guilty about going to see Amy if -

There it was, tucked into a little alcove at the end of the hall. 214.

He stood there for a good five minutes, wondering if he should knock. He could leave now, try to find Amy…she said she'd be going back home at around 2, but she could have left earlier. He turned to run back to his room for his keys when he heard singing.

He stopped, listening. It was coming from behind the door. He frowned, pressing his ear against the wood. In all these years he'd known her, Cathy had never once sang in his presence. She hadn't even brought singing up.

He didn't recognize the tune, but she sounded happy. He stood there with his ear against her door, soaking in her voice. _People sing when they're happy_, Mel had told him once. He'd never believed it…but now he could see it held some form of truth. And he found himself hoping that she was singing because of him.

Looking at his watch, he saw it was now five to one. She'd be leaving any minute. If he wanted to say goodnight, he'd have to do it now.

But why? Why did he have to? Couldn't he just forget Amy and enjoy the fact that, for the first time in a long time, he was going after a girl who had brains and wasn't a complete slut? A girl who made his chest feel warm whenever he saw her? A girl who never took any of the shit he gave her, but gave it right back to him? She made him happy; wasn't that enough?

Stuart's words came back to him. Stuart, with his perfect family and his perfect house and his perfect self. Stuart, the one their mum loved better, the one Bob trusted more. Stuart…Cathy's little look-out and best friend, the two of them sometimes acting more like a couple than Stuart and Amy.

Jamie bit the side of his mouth. It wasn't that he liked Amy like that; he had at one point. Who hadn't? She was gorgeous: blond, lean, blue-eyed, a little ditzy, but not completely dumb. They got on well enough, but Jamie couldn't see himself dating her. She was leech-like, and drove Stuart bonkers enough as it was; he couldn't imagine how insane she'd make him.

Jamie was, for the most part, happy for his brother. He was jealous, of course, but generally stayed out of the way of Stuart's affairs.

Unless, of course, Stuart decided to fuck with him. Which is precisely what he did.

Stuart hadn't been there for him last year, when he'd been in way too deep with the police. Stuart hadn't been there a couple of weeks ago, when he'd almost been roasted alive. Stuart hadn't been there because Stuart was too busy with his fiance to care about his own brother.

And if that wasn't enough, Stuart had to interfere with Cathy, as well. He had to go and tell her how bad Jamie was, what a terrible person he was and how dangerous he was to be around. And Cathy, being the little proper church girl that she was, usually believed it.

Stuart thought he was being a proper big brother to her, making sure she didn't get hurt. But there was being a brother, and then there was being a prick who never let you do anything, crippling his brother's chance of possible happiness. If Stuart could do all that and get away with it, then Jamie could do the same thing, as well. He wanted his older brother to know how much he'd been hurt, how great it felt to be betrayed by someone you thought you knew.

And so it would begin with Amy. As soon as he was done knocking on the door, he'd track her down -

Wait. He was knocking. On the door.

Stop! He wasn't ready to do this!

Maybe she hadn't heard him.

"Who is it?"

So much for that.

He took a deep breath, trying to stop shaking…why was he shaking?

"It's Romeo…who you think?"

The door opened, and there she was, still in her dress, her packed suitcase sitting behind her. "Just making sure it's not…my uncle," she said, frowning at the floor.

"Look, if you don't wanna do this -"

"I do." She locked eyes with him, the intensity of her gaze throwing him off. "I've never done something like this. Just…give me time to work with it."

He normally would have said something snarky, but he knew that wasn't what she needed. Instead, he closed the distance between them and brought her into his arms, holding her close.

God, she was a tiny thing. He always teased her about that, about being so small. It wasn't a bad thing, persay; she certainly fit well in his embrace. She was the perfect height to lay her head in his shoulder and not have to stand on her toes, which made it much more comfortable for her should she need to cry…

Oh, God, she was _crying_. Why was she doing that? Had he done something? Was she having regrets?

He didn't know what the reason was, and at that moment, he didn't care. He didn't care that she'd most likely ruin his suit, he didn't care if Bob came in right then and roasted his ass, and he most certainly didn't care about what Stuart would think if he ever found out. All that mattered right then was that he was here with her. He wanted to be here with her, if it meant she would feel better. If it meant he could see her smile.

Was that what love was? That willingness - that drive - to do anything for someone else, if only to make them happy. Was that what Stuart had asked him? Is that what he'd meant by love?

He didn't have time to think about it. Cathy had pulled away, rubbing her eyes and smearing her makeup.

"Sorry about that…" she sniffed, trying to laugh. "I really didn't need to…"

"It's fine," he said, realizing he meant it. "You ever need my shoulder, let me know."

This made her smile a little, and he felt his heart leap. She really did have a very pretty smile.

"So…" She made another swipe at her face, smudging the already-thick lines even worse. "You're here to say goodnight. Without the sex." She raised her eyebrows. "I'm intrigued to see where you take this."

"Have some faith in me, Cathy," he said, rolling his eyes and trying not to smile.

"Alright." She flopped down on the bed. "I'm listening."

"Well, I found out the other day that it's tradition for couples to share their first dance the same night they officially get together."

"Oh really?" She folded her arms, stifling a giggle. "In what culture?"

"Can't remember. Slipped my mind," he said, scrolling through the music on his phone.

"So in other words, it's bullshit."

"Maybe so." He set the phone down, a slow, classical song ringing through the speakers. "But are you really going to turn down dancing, especially if it's with me?"

"You're rubbish at it." She wasn't trying to hide her laughter now. "I remember when I first came over to your house, and your mum had us try waltzing because she was taking classes, and we both hated it."

Jamie couldn't help but laugh at the memory. It had been very awkward, especially since she'd still hadn't entered secondary school and he viewed her as the dwonky little nuisance he had to put up with every so often.

"Cathy, you mood killer," he accused. "Keep it up, and I'll just have to leave right now."

"Fine. I'll behave." She was still giggling, but it promptly stopped when he approached her.

He held out his hand. "May I have this dance?"

She bit her lip, looking up at him, her eyes suddenly very serious as she gently slipped her hand into his. "You may."

He led her to the middle of the room, placing his free hand on her hip. She was about to rest hers on his shoulder when she frowned.

"Do we have to waltz?" she asked, suddenly shy. "I mean, I know I make fun of your dancing, but I'm just as terrible."

"I was hoping you'd say that." He guided her hands to his shoulders before placing his own on her waist. They swayed together, moving slowly in a circle.

He hadn't realized how strange it felt not to hold her until she was back in his arms. He was never one for sweeping romances or any of that, but if he was honest, it somehow felt good to have her there. No, not good…_right_.

"You doing okay?" he asked as she rested her forehead on his collarbone. "I'm sorry if this is too excruciating for you."

She slapped his arm. "Shut up, you prat. Are you trying to spoil this?"

"Of course I am," he chuckled. "It's what I'm best at."

He felt her stiffen, and she stopped moving. She lifted her head to look at him, a ferocious glare in her eyes. "Don't say that again, alright? I'm thankful we're doing this. This…this is beautiful."

And with that, her head went back to his chest and she didn't say a word for the rest of the song.

His watch told him it was now around 1:20. But he hadn't checked because he was on a schedule. He'd checked because he saw she was trying not to yawn.

"Time for you to get on home and sleep," he joked, opening the door.

"Thanks for stopping by," she said, fiddling with the hem of her dress. Since when did she get nervous around him?

"I enjoyed it," he said, knowing he meant it. He gave her one last hug, deciding that he very much liked the feeling he got in his chest when she was in his arms.

They stood awkwardly facing each other, very close because the entryway was so narrow. Afraid that maybe she'd start to have second thoughts if he let this go on longer, he found his voice and whispered, "Good night, Cathy."

"Good night, Jamie," she replied, her cheeks delicately turning pink.

He cupped the side of her face and leaned forward until his lips were pressed against hers. It sent the same shock through him that he'd felt when he'd kissed her earlier, and he was stunned when she tentatively moved her lips with his, inadvertently causing him to shiver.

They pulled away, and he was sure she could feel the heat that was coming from his face.

"Right…um…" He couldn't believe he was stuttering. She was making him stutter. Jamie Bradley never stuttered. "I'll see you later, babe."

She giggled nervously. "Did you just call me 'babe'?"

"I…yeah. Do…do you not want to be called that?"

"No, thank you." She shrugged. "I just think it's a bit derogatory, that's all."

"Alright." He smiled slightly, glad she was honest with him. "Does 'love' work?"

"Love is fine. As is my name," she said, finishing in a whisper.

"Sounds good, _Cathy_," he said, ducking close to give her one last kiss. "I'll see you later."

"Good night," she said, leaning against the threshold.

He kissed her softly on the forehead and whispered, "Sweet dreams, love," before heading down the hallway.

He could have sworn his feet didn't touch the ground once.


	18. 17: My Soul to Keep

_A/N: This was written the day before the last episode premiered._

_(Since Bob effectively leaves Right Buy U, and the new manager's a jackass, I think Cathy would have left, as well. She gets hired to watch Jack and Daisy, eventually leading to her living in Stuart's house for a few days before she leaves with her sister.)_

_WARNING: extreme fluff ahead. Proceed with caution._

_P.S. If I didn't make Jamie much of a dick here, I'm sorry. I wanted to experiment with him actually being a decent guy for once. But if it's too out of character, you can let me know._

* * *

My Soul to Keep

Cathy flopped onto the living room couch, utterly exhausted. Jack had wanted several piggy-back rides in succession, and she wasn't used to carting jumping toddlers around on her back.

But it was worth it. She was still making some money, more than she ever had at Right Buy U. That was all her parents had asked of her: to earn money to support herself. And if she was doing that, she could deal with a few knots in her muscles.

"S'pose I should pay you, yeah?"

Cathy looked up to see Amy, her large hoop earrings swinging and her fake nails looks particularly violent in the lamplight.

"You don't have to right now," Cathy said, shrugging.

"Why not? You're leaving, aren't you?"

"No," Cathy said slowly. "Didn't Stuart tell you?"

That was all it took for the blond to round the corner, her heels angrily clacking against the floor. Cathy groaned. She should have just kept her mouth shut. Stuart already had to deal with Amy's rage about Leanne; he didn't need anything else to worry about.

The front door slammed shut, and for a moment Cathy thought Amy had left. _Good riddance, too, _she thought.

Then came the sound of footsteps and hushed cursing, and she felt her heart leap.

It promptly fell when she saw his face.

"What happened to your lip?" She bolted off the couch, walking to him.

"Some numnuts socked me," Jamie muttered, his hands still clenched into fists.

"And you didn't put ice on it right away, I'm guessing." Cathy sighed, quickly opening the freezer and scooping ice into a bag. She wrapped it in a towel before walking back to him.

"Sit," she said, and he did so, eyeing her warily.

"What're you-"

"Basic first aid," she cut in. She sat next to him, carefully placing the bag on his mouth. He jerked away. "Come on, now, don't do that."

"It's freezing!" he protested.

"I realize that. But your lip is swelling, and it needs to be treated." She handed him the bag. "I'm gonna go find some Vaseline. And I expect that bag to be on your mouth the entire time I'm gone."

"Not gonna happen," he mumbled as she walked away.

"Humor me and just do it," she shot back.

* * *

It took ten minutes to dig around and find some Vaseline. Amy was less than pleased to find her in the bathroom she shared with Stuart, but Cathy payed her no attention. It was bad enough they had to live in the same house; the least they could do was try to tolerate each other.

Cathy carefully dabbed some of the gooey balm on Jamie's busted lip. "Stop moving! I'm getting it all over your face."

"It hurts like a bitch," he whined, wincing as she continued to apply the Vaseline.

"This will ease the pain, okay? And keep the ice on your lip when I'm done. It'll bring down the swelling."

Jamie sighed impatiently. "You're not the one who's got a busted lip."

"I'd be done already if you would shut up and stop moving," Cathy said, fixing him with her stony gaze.

He did as he was told, although she could tell he was very put out by it.

"Feel better?" she asked, screwing the lid back onto the container.

"No. It stings even worse than it did before."

"It isn't instantaneous," she said, rolling her eyes and sitting back on the couch.

"You know what is, though?" His eyebrows rose conspiratorially. "A kiss from my beautiful girlfriend."

Cathy felt her face break out in a smile. "I'm not getting that gunk all over my own mouth, Jamie. You can just forget it."

"But it'll make it all better," he said, blinking up at her with wide green eyes. "And you don't want me to be in pain, do you?"

She tried to resist him, but he scooted closer and refused to stop looking at her with his puppy-dog face. She laughed and gave in, kissing him lightly at the corner of his mouth where the cut was.

"Come on, Cathy, you're killing me here. That's the kind of kiss I get from my grandmum."

"You need to promise me that as soon as we're done, you put that bag back on your lip."

Jamie nodded. "Deal."

Of course, with Jamie, he didn't let her go that easily. She could tell by the way he sucked in a breath when his lips met hers that it was painful for him, but he wasn't going to give up. She was gentle with him, making sure not to bump his mouth too much and lightly brushing her lips over the cut.

"How's it feel now?" she asked when they pulled apart, their foreheads resting together.

"Hell of a lot better," he said, grinning.

"I'm glad." She rose from the couch. "I think I'm going to bed. It's been a long day."

"You're just gonna leave me here, then? With this thing?" He held up the bag of ice, clearly put out.

"What, you're not exhausted?"

"No. And I was hoping to spend some time with you. Unless you want to dump me by text, as well." He arched an eyebrow.

"Fine. I'll come back down and sit for a while. Just let me get my pajamas on, at least."

* * *

They lay on the couch in front of the fire, cuddling and talking quietly. He would never tire of the way she seemed to fit perfectly in his arms.

"Keep it there, Jamie."

He jumped a little. Her eyes were closed, but she could tell he was trying to get rid of the stupid ice bag. He reluctantly set it back onto his lip.

"It's late," she said, glancing at the clock on the mantle. "And I don't think your mum would appreciate finding us sprawled out like this."

"She knows you wouldn't give in like that," Jamie insisted, tightening his hold around her waist. "You're almost entirely immune to my charm."

"Almost?" She raised her head, smirking.

"I kiss you all the time, don't I?" As if to prove his point, he placed a soft kiss on her lips. Ignoring the dull throbbing in his mouth, he allowed his hands to get tangled in her strawberry-blond locks.

She pulled away first, giggling at the mock sadness in his eyes. "You can't expect your lip to heal without the ice," she chastised.

He let her replace the ice bag on his lip, her small fingers delicately brushing against his skin. She kissed his forehead, and he melted under her touch. Between the still-cold ice and her caress, he was sure he would be shivering all night.

She pressed her ear to his chest, feeling it rise and fall in a steady rhythm. She felt her eyes fall closed, heavy with sleep and lulled by his heartbeat.

Jamie smiled down at her, sleeping contentedly in his embrace. He lightly kissed the top of her head and placed the ice bag on the floor, ready to fall asleep himself.

"Do you want me to duct tape it to your face? Because I will," she warned, not even lifting her head.

He sighed. "Nothing gets past you, does it?"

"Nope."

He sighed, putting the slightly-melted bag back onto his face. "There. It's back on. Are you satisfied?"

"Very."

"You aren't even checking to make sure I have it on."

"I trust you enough that you won't piss me off."

He laughed. "So how much longer do I leave it on for?"

"Until you fall asleep."

"Well, I'm falling asleep. See? I can't even keep my eyes open." He yawned, hoping that he had proven his case.

"Fine, you big baby. You can take it off."

Jamie practically threw the bag across the room, but settled for placing it on the coffee table.

"How's the lip?" she asked, raising her head and looking at him through bleary eyes.

He gently rubbed it. "Feels better. Swelling's gone down."

"Told you," she mumbled, yawning.

"You can marvel in all your glory tomorrow," he told her, guiding her head back to his chest. "You need your sleep."

"Mmmmm." She snuggled into him, and a few minutes later her breathing steadied.

He watched her for a while longer before he felt his own eyelids drooping. "Good night, Cathy," he whispered, relaxing his hold on her the tiniest bit.

The last coherent though that crossed his mind would have been enough to jerk him awake, but he was asleep before it had its full impact:

_I love you._


	19. 18: The Pool Part I

_This took me so long to write, but that's probably because I had to split it into two parts. :p It's also due to the fact that I had one of those doubting thoughts again. XD So hopefully it was worth it._

_Writing someone's train of thought is never easy. But I figured it would be a bit jumbled…_

* * *

The Pool - Part I

_The alarm was screeching through the house, jerking her awake. What on earth was going on? Was the house being robbed?_

_"It's just Amy," Joyce said, clearly displeased. "I'll take Jack if you'll go calm down Daisy."_

_She was never really good with babies. They were so little, so unpredictable. And right now, very boisterous._

_"Shhh…it's alright, Daisy," she whispered, rocking the infant in her arms. "It's alright."_

_Amy should be up here doing this. These were her children, weren't they? They needed their mother, no matter how irresponsible she was._

_What was Amy doing, anyway, getting home this late? Granted, she herself had gotten in later than planned, but at least Joyce knew when to expect her and turn the alarm off. _

_"Come on, now, it's alright." Daisy was slowly starting to fall back asleep. "Everything's alright…"_

_If only she'd known what was happening right below her._

* * *

It wasn't true. It wasn't true. Please, God, let it not be true.

She'd pleaded this over and over again, but even she couldn't convince herself otherwise. There wasn't any use denying it.

Jamie had inadvertently caused trouble for Leanne. There was a high possibility that she would lose Stacey. Leanne could go to prison for this.

And it was all because Jamie had taken a stupid picture.

She was willing to let the strip club slide. She wasn't thrilled that he owned one, but if that's what he wanted, then she wasn't going to stop him. After all, she was sure if she let him, he'd waste no time and finally have his way with her. She didn't have to love everything he did; she could make a few sacrifices.

But to do something as careless as this…it made her skin crawl. She saw how it impacted Stacey; the poor girl was always curled up on the couch, asking periodically for her mother. And she couldn't begin to imagine what Leanne was going through…

One thought kept flying across her mind: go home. Go back to London, back to Mum and Dad, back to being hounded about taking a year off of school. Admittedly, it wasn't thebest solution, but it would certainly be an improvement.

She felt stupid for ever thinking she could give him her trust. When had he ever proven to her that he was worthy of it? He got off the hook just because he had a pretty face and knew how to smooth talk his way out of things. And she let him.

But it was more than that. For a few days, she hadn't seen much of typical Jamie, at least not in her presence. He'd seemed fine with just sitting in silence, holding hands, enjoying the little things. It was almost as if he'd actually appreciated the time he spent with her.

Why should she think he did? He owned a strip club. How did she know he wasn't seeing a few other girls from there? He had to get lonely at night, and since she wasn't willing to put out, he'd have to find someone who would.

She frowned, ashamed that she'd think so bitterly of him. But it was difficult not to. He was always rash, always thinking about himself, how he would benefit from something.

Which is where she got stuck with him.

What the hell was Jamie Bradley doing dating someone like herself? What was he gaining from it? Aside from sexual frustration, most likely. And if that was true, then why didn't he just ditch her? Was he afraid of what her uncle would do to him? What Stuart would do to him? What was his motive?

Did he even have one?

The way he looked at her, the smiles he gave her, how close he held her, all these things were enough to convince her that he was sincere this time. He wasn't the same boy she'd met nine years ago; he was open to change, open to try to be better. At the very least, open to trying for her.

But then he went and did stupid things like this. And that's where it all fell apart.

He'd done it before. When they were younger, he'd fake being nice to nick some of her candy, or go behind her back to complain to Stuart about what a little bitch she was. She'd quickly learned not to fall for that, but he eventually stopped when his dad first left.

She still remembered finding him on that park bench, staring at the pond, collapsing in on himself. She'd taken a seat next to him, and said nothing. They'd stayed like that for a few hours, and when it was time for the two of them to head home, he'd given her a quick hug and mumbled, "Thanks."

Things were different after that. He wasn't as much of an ass to her, which allowed her to not be so rude to him. He still made bad decisions now and again, but thankfully he was usually out of trouble when she was visiting. On the rare occasion that he was having problems, she didn't complain. She just stuck it out with him, never teasing him once.

He'd asked her why she did that. Why she was so nice to him.

"You're my friend, aren't you?" she replied, and left it at that.

At least when he did make the wrong choice, she wasn't directly involved with it. She was disappointed in him, for sure, but he accepted her support for the most part and didn't drag her deeper than she needed to be.

She hadn't minded his relationship choices at first. She still saw him as that obnoxious older brother, always hounding her but needing her when things got tough. After he'd broken up with Mel, she became concerned. He'd dated her for about eleven months, and they'd broken it off so suddenly. He hadn't wanted anyone's pity, and even though he tried to push her away, she stayed firm.

He'd spilled a lot to her one night, the summer before she'd started uni. He never told anyone anything about him, always put up that front of being strong and never needing anyone else. To have him tell her about his dad, his past relationships, how he felt about his mum and brother, was probably one of the bravest things she'd seen anyone do.

That was when she'd fallen for him. Jamie had been asking for help for once in his life, and he'd opened up, trusting her with his heart, in a way. And she'd kept it.

Of course, right after he was done with that, he'd gone back to his normal self, but she would always see past his I-don't-care exterior to the real Jamie Bradley.

And even after all of that, he still hadn't learned anything.

Couldn't he be happy with her? Wasn't she enough? And even if she wasn't, why lead her on? What did he gain from it?

She pondered these questions as she rode her bike around the city; biking always helped clear her mind. But when she arrived back at Stuart's, her thoughts seemed more jumbled and confusing than when she'd gone out.

Jamie's Ferrari was parked haphazardly in the driveway. Things weren't going to get better from here, were they?

"You have a visitor," was the first thing Joyce said to her when she came in. "I don't think he's going to be leaving until he sees you. Not that I don't love my own son visiting…but he's been a bit of a nuisance lately."

"Suppose I'd better comply with his demands," Cathy muttered. "Pool, right?"

"Where else'd he be?"

"Good point," she said before opening the door to the pool.


	20. 19: The Pool Part II

_This one probably took even longer. I'm so used to writing bad-boy Jamie, it's a bit difficult to switch to the somewhat-nice Jamie. Again, if he's not much of a douche, I'm sorry. :p And if this is totally cliche and boring and not very good, I'm sorry…again. Just let me know. _

* * *

The Pool - Part II

They'd had a discussion the morning after Bob's party about boundaries. They weren't to go any further than kissing, unless both of them agreed to do so. It was simple enough, and Jamie didn't seem too upset about the arrangement.

It wasn't as if she wasn't exposed to sensuality at all; there were other things that were much more productive. At least, that's how she tried to explain it. There was nothing wrong with sex, it just wasn't her thing. She'd come to her own conclusions about it, and she'd stick with them.

Which was precisely why, when she walked in, she was so startled at the sight of him.

And there was a _lot _of him.

He was halfway out of the pool when she came in. Since no one else had been around, he'd had the bright idea of swimming without his trunks - or any other article of clothing. And he certainly hadn't been planning on someone walking in, let alone his girlfriend.

"Oh, fuck."

She saw him blush before she slapped a hand over her eyes, the warmth of her own face practically burning her fingers. "Sorry, sorry…" she stuttered. "Didn't see anything. Your mum…"

"Just…just give me a minute, alright?" He sounded like he was smiling, trying not to laugh.

She rocked back and forth on her heels, extremely uncomfortable, and she was the one fully clothed. Then again, maybe it wasn't as big a shock to him since he was so used to this. He wasn't a virgin, she knew that much.

_Stop…stop… _She wasn't going to get herself angry again. Not when he was here.

"Cathy!"

She jumped. "What?"

"I've been saying your name for the past two minutes, and you haven't responded at all." He was laughing now. "I said, you can look."

She felt his fingers slowly pull her hand from her face so that she was looking straight into his eyes. He was smiling widely, and she instantly knew he wasn't angry with her. If anything, he found this to be extremely amusing.

"You alright now?" he asked.

She nodded. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"What're you sorry for? I'm the bastard who couldn't keep his pants on."

She felt her mouth tugging upward slightly. Then she noticed what he was in.

"Jamie, I thought that was Stuart's," she said, gesturing to the fluffy dressing gown.

He shrugged. "He isn't home, he isn't using it. Besides, it's comfy, and I'm too lazy to go get some proper clothing." He cocked an eyebrow. "Unless you prefer me in just my underwear…"

"This is fine," she said hurriedly, feeling her face turn red. She frowned as he started laughing. "I'm happy that you find me so amusing."

"Oh, be a good sport," he said, pulling her to his chest. "I'm just teasing."

She wanted to say something back, but her voice shrunk in her throat the minute she felt her head against his heart. They stood there for a moment, the only sound the soft humming of the pool filter. She hugged him around his waist, suddenly feeling completely safe.

Cathy realized how dark it was outside, and how the light from the water danced around the walls, casting them in a muted blue glow. It was almost romantic, if you ignored the smell of chlorine. She wouldn't mind spending the night in here; it would hopefully get her mind off of things. That is, if Jamie kept the conversation away from what was upsetting her.

He pulled back, still keeping a firm hold on her arms. "You're not busy right now, are you?"

"No…why?"

"Well…" He looked up at her shyly, something completely surprising to her. "I was wondering if maybe…you'd like to sit for a while…and talk. In here. With…with me."

She saw him wince slightly at his stuttering. He was never one to stutter, usually. Was that because of her? If it was, that was bloody hilarious.

She giggled. "I would love to. That sounds absolutely perfect."

* * *

They sat on one of the cushioned pool chairs, talking quietly and watching for the occasional ripple on the water's surface. Some time during their conversation, her head had found its way to his shoulder, and her thumb gently traced the inside of his hand. The two of them almost forgot that they were in someone else's house.

Almost.

"It's time for dinner," Amy said, her voice echoing harshly off the walls as she entered. She stopped, sizing up the situation, pursing her lips.

"Not hungry," Jamie answered. He turned his head to Cathy. "How about you?"

She shook her head, not wanting to ruin what little mood they had left. "I'm fine," she said, just as her stomach growled, magnified by the walls. Her eyes widened. "Um…"

"Go ahead," Jamie said, trying to stop laughing. "Go eat something."

"I'll make it quick," she said, getting up.

"I'll be here."

She hesitated, then bent down and pressed a kiss on his cheek. She walked away quickly, averting her eyes from Amy as she passed.

"Didn't know you two had something," Amy said, closing the door.

Jamie sat up straighter, his muscles tensing. "None of your concern whether we do or not."

Amy smirked at him. "Trying to make me jealous won't work, Jamie. This whole Lea business will blow over soon enough, and Stuart'll come back to his senses."

He barked out a laugh. "That's what you think? One drunken kiss, and you assume I'm all over you?"

"Well, you _were_ all over me," she answered. "Why should I think otherwise?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It was a mistake, plain and simple. And I'm regretting it."

"Because you've got yourself a new little whore?"

He wanted to slap her. He really did. "Because I've found someone who won't _pretend_ to put up with me every day," he growled.

Amy's face went red. "She doesn't know, does she?"

"If it were important, I'd tell her. But it's not."

"That's what you do for all your girlfriends, right? Pretend anything you do with anyone else doesn't matter." Her nostrils flared. "I really feel sorry for her, being stuck with a pig like you."

"You came on to me, remember?" He gritted his teeth, trying not to let her words get the better of him.

"You're the one who moved in first."

"Didn't seem like you were protesting."

"I was drunk!"

"You were sober enough to push me away."

"Well, how do I know you weren't high on that shit you snort -"

"For the last time, I'm clean!"

"You just love to lie to everyone, don't you?" She shook her head. "No wonder Stuart never trusts you."

"Shouldn't trust you, either. Throw yourself all over his brother -"

"That was all you!"

"You seemed to like it!"

They stared each other down for what seemed like an eternity. Jamie looked away first, his teeth hurting from grinding them so hard.

"Leave it alone, okay?" he finally asked. "It's over and done with. And…for once, I'd like a chance to do something right."

Amy folded her arms. "You really think she's it, then? She winces every time I offer her a bloody drink, and here you are owning a strip club. What makes you think it'll work?"

"It will," he said, much more confident than he'd intended. "I don't know how, but…I know it will."

Amy narrowed her eyes, obviously not buying it. "So you're telling me that if given the chance, you'd give up your life, give up everything, if she asked for it. You'd honestly go down on one bloody knee and spend the rest of your life with her, with no regrets."

"I wouldn't go that far -"

"Then how is this any different?"

"I've only been with her like that for a few days! You expect me to propose that quickly? I mean, I've known her for a while, but not like this. At least give me time to figure it out!"

"Do you love her?"

Jamie stopped, his mouth slightly ajar. "What?"

"Do you love her?"

Suddenly he was back at the hotel, facing Stuart, being expected to answer the same question. The only difference was that he now knew what his answer was. He just couldn't bring himself to say it in front of Amy. He wanted to tell Cathy first before he told anyone else about it, so he clammed up.

After a moment of silence, Amy spoke. "That's what I thought." She turned around, her blond hair swishing behind her. "You Bradleys are all the same."

That remark was all he needed for the truth to come tumbling out.

"Yes," he said shortly. "Yes, I do. Very much."

"Prove it, then," she tossed over her shoulder as she left.

"I plan to," he shot to her retreating form.

At that moment, Cathy was walking back in. "Is everything okay?" She frowned at the door. "Are you guys fighting or…"

"Everything's fine," Jamie said, trying to convince both her and himself. He took Cathy's hands in his. "Nothing to worry about."

"Alright." She sighed. "I trust you."

He hadn't heard those three words directed at him in such a long time. For a moment, he wondered if he'd dreamed them. No one ever trusted him anymore.

But she did. She wanted to trust him. And he'd keep her trust.

"Thank you," he whispered.

She nodded her response, looking up at him with wide eyes, the way she used to when they were younger.

"I have something for you," he said after a minute. "But you have to close your eyes."

Her reaction wasn't what he'd expected. Her eyes brightened with curiosity, but she quickly turned skeptical. "Don't tell me you're going to strip. I'll take anything but that."

"It's not that," he said, leading her to the cushioned chair. "Just close your eyes. I'll be right back. No peaking."

She hesitantly covered her eyes with her hands, and he hastily grabbed his car keys, running out into the brisk autumn night and retrieving her present. He walked back in, holding it behind his back and grinning like an idiot.

"I'm back," he said.

"And I'm starting to wonder if you're still clothed," Cathy said dryly, although she hadn't moved her hand from her eyes.

He chuckled. "I am. I'm gonna need you to hold out your free hand."

"This isn't one of those games where I have to feel something slimy and guess what it is, is it?"

"You know me so well," he joked. "Just give me your other hand."

She stuck it out, her jaw clenching. He smiled at her nervousness, knowing she'd be more than thrilled by the outcome. He carefully wrapped her fingers around the gift, keeping his hand on hers so she wouldn't drop it.

"It's kind of heavy," she remarked, lowering her hand from her face. "What did you…"

She trailed off, surprised. In her hand was a dark red rose, its petals and leaves outlined in gold. It reflected the light, making it look as if it were made of glass.

"Jamie…" She looked at him, still shocked.

"They dip flowers in gold so they won't die," he explained, taking a seat next to her. "I figured it'd be more special that way. I mean, what's the use of getting you something that'll die in a week?"

She blinked, speechless. "Jamie…"

"Took me a while to pick it out, too," he continued, suddenly cautious of her reaction. "Roses come in about ten different colors. And they all mean something different. Did you know that? Each one has its own meaning. Bit crazy, if you ask me-"

She put a hand on his arm, and he stopped talking. She tilted her head a little, studying him. He held his breath, preparing himself for whatever she said next.

"What…what made you choose this one?"

A question he could answer. He'd practically memorized what the lady had told him. "Dark red roses are slightly different from regular red roses. They can mean a lot of things, actually. They mean passion and desire…they can also mean love, if you want them to."

She'd scooted closer to him. The nearness of her was making his stomach do somersaults, much as it did every time.

"And it also means…beauty… and readiness…for…commitment…" he said quietly, leaning in to kiss her. She pulled back after a few seconds, a genuine smile on her face.

"You didn't have to get me this, Jamie."

"I know. But I wanted to. I'm not really good with words, in case you hadn't noticed." She giggled, making his face grow warm. "So I hope this will help with that. I mean it, Cathy. I'm ready to try. For you."

He pulled her in for a long, gentle kiss, his heart fluttering in his chest the entire time. They eventually fell asleep on the chair, Cathy snuggled against his chest, his arms holding her close.


	21. 20: Farewell

_A/N: Since Jamie continues to be the ever-so wonderful man that he is, I had another jolt of inspiration. Next week is the last episode (!), and it's implied that he and Amy have something - or have had something - going on between them. One of my Tumblr buddies even thinks that he was the father of one of her kids. o.O _

_But it all adds to the drama, which is good. I've never really written something like this before. But I like it. ;)_

_Anyway, I'll be (hopefully) getting the DVD set for my birthday, so if I do go on with this, I won't run the risk of getting viruses and dealing with pop-ups. :p I'm even willing to pay $22 now, and stay off of Tumblr next Tuesday until I'm able to watch the finale._

_The things I do for my fandoms._

_A little context: Since Bob is going to South Africa, and Cathy isn't part of the syndicate that won, she decides to stay behind. But this means she has nowhere to stay, so Stuart and Jamie's mom offers for her to bunk at their house in exchange for watching Jack and Daisy. After a couple of days, Stuart tells Cathy about Jamie showing Amy the picture at the hotel, adding that to the knowledge that Jamie now co-owns a strip club. Cathy realizes that even though she loves Jamie, they both want different things, and she's not willing to sacrifice her own morals just to be with him. Not wanting to go back to her parents just yet, her older sister, Emma, offers to let her stay at her house. This one-shot centers around Cathy going back to the Bradley house one last time to say goodbye to Jamie._

* * *

Farewell

It took everything she had not to run over and break the windows, slash the tires. His precious Ferrari was just making her even more enraged.

She rang the doorbell, looking over her shoulder again. She knew Emma wouldn't leave her there alone, but she needed the reassurance.

Mrs. Bradley opened the door. Of course.

"Oh, hello, Cathy," she said. "Didn't think I'd be seeing you around so soon."

"Neither did I." She tried to laugh, but found she couldn't. Mrs. Bradley had been nothing but kind to her, and she loved Stuart's kids. It would be so hard to go back home.

"I reckon you're not here to say goodbye again," Mrs. Bradley joked. "Not to me, anyway."

"Look, you can just tell him I'm leaving, okay?" She would rather not face him. This was going to be hard. So very hard.

"Dear, I think he needs to hear it from you." She gave the younger girl a pointed look.

"Right."

Mrs. Bradley stepped aside and nodded toward the back of the house. "He's in the pool."

…

This shouldn't have been difficult. And it wouldn't have been, if not for him. She was planning to throw all her emotions at him and leave as fast as she could. She hadn't known he'd look so happy to see her.

"Cathy!" He hopped out, dripping wet from the pool water. He shook the water from his hair. "I'd give you a hug, but I don't wanna get you all wet."

She nodded, panicking silently. She couldn't go through with this. She'd chicken out, tell Emma that she'd be staying. She was scared to think about life without him.

Then she remembered what Stuart had told her. About the picture, about him owning a strip club. It all built up inside her, fueling her frustration.

"You alright?" He stood in front of her, towel around his shoulders, looking concerned.

She tried to speak, but nothing came out. Why was it so hard to say three simple words? _I'm going home._

"Speechless, are we?" He gave her a crooked smile. "I know you find me attractive, but I didn't expect this."

"I'm leaving," she mumbled, picking at a loose string on her coat.

"Huh?"

"Jamie, I…I came to say goodbye."

He blinked, perplexed. "Goodbye? You're not supposed to go home for another few months."

_Surprised you'd remember that, Jamie._

"Well, I feel bad about living here, when your mum does so much for me…and Emma offered to let me stay with her for a while. I mean, it was nice of you guys to take me in when Uncle Bob went off to South Africa, but…I think it's time for me to go."

She expected him to laugh it off, tell her good riddance, do something that screamed jackass. It was his way; it's how he dealt with these things.

Instead, he got the most heartbreaking look on his face. For a second, she almost thought he was really upset about this.

"Where'd all this come from?" he asked after a minute. His voice was quieter, weaker.

"It's how I feel about the situation, Jamie. It's nothing against you, okay? I just…I think it's best for everyone."

The fire in his eyes returned suddenly. Here was the Jamie she knew, the Jamie she feared.

"Like I'd believe that. Stuart told you, didn't he?"

"This has nothing to do with him-"

"I don't know why you insist on letting him talk shit about me!" He shook his head, amused. "My own brother…"

"What about what you've done?" Cathy shot back, her temper rising. "You're the one who showed Amy that stupid picture!" She bit her lip as soon as the words left her mouth.

"So. This is about me, is it?"

She blinked back angry tears. "Yes. It is." She forced herself to look into his eyes. She was going to remain strong.

"I told you before. I'm not going to change the way I am."

"I know that. And that's why I think it'd be better if I left. I can't constantly be wondering about you, Jamie. I really can't. I can't wonder if you're going to get caught for the robbery, I can't wonder if you're sleeping with someone behind my back…" She swallowed hard, more tears pouring down her face. "And I can't wonder if you really do care about me."

"Cathy…"

"I can't, Jamie! I can't do this anymore!" She ran her hands through her hair, sighing. "I'm doing you a favor, aren't I? You don't have to deal with poor little Cathy, keeping you away from your hookers and your drugs."

"Cathy, listen to me." He looked angry, but his eyes were pleading with her.

"Don't tell me otherwise." She turned to leave. "I think you'll be happier if I'm not here."

"Cathy!" He grabbed her elbow, but she tried to jerk away. He held onto her with both hands; she tried to kick him, but she missed. While dodging her foot, Jamie lost his balance and started leaning sideways. Cathy felt herself tipping over, unable to escape from his grasp. Before both of them knew it, they had fallen into the pool.

Cathy managed to swallow one mouthful of water as she fought her way to the surface. She gulped in the air, thankful the pool wasn't too deep.

She glared at Jamie as he came up for air. "Thanks a lot," she said.

"No problem." He swam over to her; she tried to get away, but her clothes were weighed down with water, making her move slower. He easily pulled her to him, and in no time at all he was kissing her.

She hated him for this. It was the one thing she couldn't say no to, what he knew she loved. If there was a way to make her stay, he had found it.

For a few blissful moments, she let herself get lost in his arms. He was gentle with her, kissing her lips slowly and tenderly. For someone who must have had many girls before, he didn't seem to want to strip her of her clothing or stick his tongue down her throat. He was willing to go slow, content just to be with her.

They both pulled away to breathe. He still had that look in his eyes.

"Cathy…don't go. Please."

She remembered a few nights ago, at the hotel. He had given her a similar look, told her he cared about her, wanted to be good for her. And then he'd turned right around and went back to being stupid.

How was she ever going to trust him?

"I'm sorry, Jamie," she said, pulling herself up onto the ledge of the pool. "I can't."

"Cathy, wait!" He leaped out of the pool and ran after her.

She walked toward the door, shivering, not even noticing that she was leaving a trail of water on the hardwood floor.

"Cathy, please-"

"What's going on?" Amy materialized, seemingly out of nowhere. She looked disdainfully at Cathy. "Why are you soaking wet?"

Cathy wrenched the door open and walked outside without a word.

Jamie was following her. She heard the slap of his feet against the pavement. He caught her arm and spun her around, pulling her to his chest.

"Let go of me," she muttered, knowing it was no use.

"Cathy, would you just stop and think for a minute? I don't want to lose you again."

She looked up at him, angry all over again. "Maybe next time you'll learn how to keep a girl, then!" She pulled the passenger door to her sister's car open and got inside.

"Why are you all wet?" Emma asked, glancing at her. "And…why is he outside like that in the middle of October?"

Cathy shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes again.

"Hey…it's alright now." Emma smiled sadly. "You'll be fine now, Cathy. You don't have to see him again."

Her brain was telling her the same thing. But for some reason, her heart refused to shut up.

Or stay whole.


	22. 21: 5 November 2011

**5 November, 2011 - Voice Recording found on James Andrew Bradley's phone**

"Cathy, please pick up the phone. Is that too much to ask? Do you really hate me that much?…Can't you give me the benefit of the doubt and talk to me? Please?…(God, I sound like such a wanker)…Cathy, this is getting ridiculous. You're being difficult, in my opinion. (And that's the perfect way to get her back, point out all the shit she's done)…

"Cathy…I know you're never going to get this, but I might as well say it now. Cathy…I'm sorry for hurting you. I…I didn't want to. It's just…it's hard for me to think…to believe…that someone like you…someone as beautiful and kind as you…could actually be interested in a failed ex-druggie. I can't understand why you want to be with me, when I'm an ass to you all the time.

"And…I want to be with you, too. But I'm scared. I'm absolutely terrified of how I feel. I don't want you to leave me, to pick someone else. That's why I got angry with you. You always listen to what Stuart says about me, and I get it. All he says is true. But it…it hurts all the same.

"I just don't want to get let down anymore. And when you left…something in me realized it's always going to happen. I'm never going to find someone to depend on. You were my last hope. And now you're gone.

"Cathy, I need to talk to you. Just pick up the phone. Please. I need to tell you that there was never anything going on between me or anyone. Not Amy, not Tanya, not…the girl with the red hair (bloody hell, forgot her name). They were all just me trying to run away from you. I thought maybe you were just joking with me, and nothing was going to come out of us dating. But I was wrong.

"You make me feel like so much more than what I am. When I'm with you, I'm not a smartass. I'm not a druggie. I'm not a criminal. I'm someone completely different. Someone worthy of you.

"I know Bob hates me. And he'll hate me even more when he finds out what I did. And I know the smart thing would be to go on with my life and forget about you. But we both know how I am: when have I ever been smart? When have I ever listened to anyone?

"(Bloody phone's gonna cut me off soon)

"Cathy, if I ever see you again, I won't run from you, alright? Even though I'm terrified of being with you, I don't think I can begin to imagine life without you.

"I love you, Catherine Davies.

"And I always will."


	23. 22: Beginning Again Part I

Beginning Again - Part I

The next few weeks were quiet. They weren't joyful, and they weren't maddening. They were just quiet.

Cathy tried to move on with her life as best she could. She babysat for a few of the neighbors, helped Emma with the shopping and the laundry. She mainly found herself at the library, which was a couple of blocks away. She was thankful that it had two floors; she could get lost among the shelves for hours, sometimes never opening a single book but thankful for something to occupy her.

Today she was surrounded by romance novels. She'd never read one, but she didn't have to. One of her professors had told her that there was a formula many romance writers followed, restricting their creativity, but it paid well, which was why there were so many. Cathy couldn't tell the difference from one shirtless man to the next, but at least this was taking her mind off of her life.

Jamie had called again today. He'd let up a bit, but he was still persistent. Emma was considering changing the land line number because he was constantly ringing it off the hook. She didn't understand why he didn't give up; he was never going to speak with her.

She didn't see why he would be this upset about her leaving. He refused to stay in a long-term relationship with anyone. She vaguely recalled a girl named Mel whom he had dated for almost a year; she wondered what happened to her.

_Probably mucked it up like he always does._

It was bad enough he had ditched his date at the party, but to suddenly come on to his own brother's fiance…

Amy had thrown that in her face the day Cathy announced she was leaving. Although she claimed she hadn't enjoyed it in the least, Cathy swore she'd seen the smallest flicker of a smile. The sooner Stuart got rid of her, the better.

Stuart had been calling, giving her updates and seeing how she was. His mum finally got herself a car, a little red one with a horn. Leanne's daughter was safe, but she was still insisting on leaving for Whales. Uncle Bob's tumor had been successfully removed, and he was back home. And Jamie had gone out and gotten himself a "little bird", as he put it.

She could just picture it now: Jamie with his arm around another sleazy pole dancer, wearing his polished shoes and his smug smile. To think she'd fancied herself in love with him! He wasn't worth the peeling rubber on her trainers.

Stuart kept insisting things would turn around. Jamie would realize his mistakes and make things right. He was a good guy; his judgment wasn't always the best, but he wasn't all bad.

Which was why Jamie kept insisting on calling her sister's land line instead of taking a train or driving one of his blasted sports cars out here and telling her to her face that he was sorry.

Cathy left the library without any new books. She was back in her sister's house a few minutes later, staring out the front window at the falling leaves.

Even if she said she hated him and didn't want to see him, she knew she didn't mean it. Not completely, at least. She wouldn't complain if he showed up on the doorstep, on his knees and pleading for her forgiveness, promising that he really was clean and would at least try to have a decent relationship with her.

"I think I'll make some dill chicken hot dish tonight," Emma said from the kitchen. "Sound okay?"

Cathy nodded absently.

"You alright?"

Another nod.

"Cathy, if you wanna talk about it…"

"There's nothing to say." She shrugged. "I'll get over it, Emma."

"You just don't seem like yourself, and I'm worried." Emma walked over and pulled her younger sister into a hug. "I want you to know that I'm here for you if you ever need anything. And that I'm not going to leave you alone to deal with this by yourself."

"I know," Cathy said. But she realized that those were words she'd needed to hear for a long time.

* * *

The doorbell rang three days later. It would change Cathy's life forever.

She was home alone, sitting at the kitchen island and eating lunch. She looked up warily, suddenly realizing what a very bad idea wishing him here was.

She cautiously looked through the peephole, sighing in relief before doing a double take. This couldn't be happening…there was no way…

Cathy opened the door to see Leanne, hair disheveled and black streaks running from her eyes. Stacey stood next to her, quiet as usual.

"Leanne?"

"I'm sorry this is such short notice, Cathy. I just got the call yesterday, and I got here as soon as I could."

"What are you talking about?" Cathy asked, ushering the two into the house. "What call?"

"Stuart called me and told me everything, and I had to come and see you as soon as I could…" Leanne continued, sitting down on the couch.

"Leanne, what happened? Why did Stuart call you?"

"He would have called you himself, but he only got so many minutes with the phone, and-"

"LEANNE." Cathy shook her shoulders. "Slow down. Can you please start from the beginning?"

Leanne nodded, taking a deep breath. "Stuart called me from prison."

Cathy felt an uncomfortable chill run down her back. "What?"

"He turned himself and Jamie in for the robbery. I had a feeling they'd had something to do with it." She paused, wiping stray tears from her eyes. "Anyway, he wanted to come and get you, but he and Mrs. Bradley are working on getting him out on bail, and I was the first person he thought of. I have no idea why, but-"

"Hold on…" Cathy's brow furrowed. "Why would you need to come get me? I told them I wasn't coming back."

Leanne looked up at her, a fresh batch of tears in her eyes. "Cathy…Jamie was in a car accident."

Suddenly she was on the ground; she didn't remember her knees buckling. She didn't cry, she didn't scream, she just collapsed, another terrible feeling running through her.

"He was trying to outrun the police, and…he ran right into a truck. They thought he was dead, but his pulse was just barely there, and they tried to revive him. He's…he's in the hospital right now, in critical condition."

Cathy was completely numb. The thought that Jamie might possibly die was too much.

"Cathy?" Leanne slid off the couch and sat next to her. "Sweetie…"

The room was filled with an ear-splitting cry. Her lungs burned, but she didn't feel the pain.

She found herself sobbing into Leanne's blouse, feeling helpless and weak.

"Sweetheart, it's alright," Leanne whispered, her voice choked with tears. "He's getting the help he needs. He'll be fine."

Cathy didn't listen to anything she said. She just needed to know someone was there, that someone was feeling the same pain. She needed to know that she wasn't alone.


	24. 23: Beginning Again Part II

_I realize that some of this is a little choppy and might not make sense. Right now, I'd just like to get a rough outline. I can always go back and fix the little things later._

_Warning: Fluff at the end._

* * *

Beginning Again - Part II

"Cathy, you're sure you want to do this?"

She was silent for a moment. _Don't ask me that. I don't even know if I want to._

It was later that night. Emma was now home, and Leanne and Stacey were still there. There had been a proposition over dinner: Leanne was going back to Leeds to see if she couldhelp the Bradleys, and she was willing to take Cathy with her.

The question was would Cathy take it.

She didn't know if she could handle it. Seeing Jamie alive when he could lie to her was enough; seeing him close to death was certainly not going to make things better. She wasn't prepared to see him after all he'd said, what he'd done, how he'd treated her.

But as she was about so say no, something clicked in her. This realization brought her to tears of pity.

Jamie had no one.

She remembered him talking about his dad, about how he'd left when Jamie was 13. About how there was no one in his life he could trust, about all the bad things that people did to him.

Stuart had Amy and Leanne to sort out, and his mum was preoccupied with Jack and Daisy. And…and Amy was still gaga for Stuart, even though it was clear he no longer returned her affections. The fruit stand had left him after only a few days, and Cathy had a feeling his new "little bird" had flown off, as well.

She cried out of pity for him, about how lonely he must have felt. And suddenly a wave of anger overtook her. Jamie pushed people away when they tried to help him. He wanted to get close to someone, and if he succeeded, he backed out, afraid of rejection.

He didn't want to get hurt. But he was hurting himself anyway.

"Cathy, if you don't want to, you can just stay here," Emma said, rubbing her shoulder.

"I'm going," Cathy said.

"What?"

"I'm going," she repeated, louder, stronger.

"You sure you want to?" Emma gave her a worried look.

"Emma…he hasn't got anyone."

Her words hung in the air as the four of them sat in silence.

* * *

The three hours back to Leeds had to be the longest of her life. She felt her hands become sweaty and her breathing start to quicken. She wouldn't be able to handle this. She was going to pass out, or throw up, or jump out of the car and run all the way back to London.

_Why can't we go faster?_

Stacey was a good distraction. She told Cathy all about the ballet class she took when she and Leanne were still in Leeds. It kept Cathy's mind off the inevitable for a good portion of the trip.

Leanne finally pulled into the hospital parking ramp. Cathy swallowed, finding that her mouth was dry.

"It all works out," Leanne whispered, squeezing her shoulder.

* * *

They weren't allowed in.

"Family's allowed. No one else," the nurse said.

Cathy didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed. There was still a small part of her that wanted to run. But she knew that an even bigger part of Jamie also wanted to run, and she needed to let him know she would be there.

Leanne wasn't backing down that easily. "This is important, and-"

"I'm sorry, miss, but I can't allow you back to see the patient."

"It'll only take a few minutes-"

"I can't help you, miss. I'm sorry."

"JUST LET US IN, GODDAMMIT."

Everyone turned to stare at Leanne, who was now breathing heavily. Cathy felt her own eyes widen.

"What the bloody hell's going on out here?" Mrs. Bradley appeared, her hands on her hips. "This is a hospital, not a football arena." She saw Leanne, and her face softened.

"Hullo, Mrs. Bradley," Leanne said, suddenly shy again.

"Hullo, Leanne, dear." She caught sight of Cathy and Stacey. "And hullo to you, too, my dears. I suppose you're here for Jamie, aren't you?"

The three of them nodded.

"Well, you can come on back, but he's not conscious right now-"

"Mrs. Bradley," the nurse said cautiously.

"They're with me," she said firmly, and nothing more was said on the matter.

* * *

Cathy felt like she was in a parallel universe as soon as she stepped into the hospital room. He was hooked up to what seemed like countless IV machines, a bandage wrapped around his forehead and his legs in casts. The heart monitor assured them that he was breathing at a steady pace.

"Been in and out all day," Mrs. Bradley whispered. "Doctor says he's lucky. If he hadn't been wearing his seat belt, he would have gone straight through the glass."

Cathy sank into a chair, not able to take her eyes off of him. She didn't want to stare, but she couldn't help it. He no longer looked like the couldn't-care-less boy she'd known for half of her life; here, in the hospital bed, he was vulnerable.

_What's happened to you, Jamie?_

"Lost a lot of blood in his forehead, but they told me this morning they expect a full recovery," Mrs. Bradley said. "He's just gotta stop going out on us."

After that, Cathy didn't hear anything Mrs. Bradley and Leanne said. Stacey had crawled into another chair and fell asleep, exhausted from the drive.

"I think Stacey and I are gonna go get something to eat," Leanne whispered, gently waking her daughter. "Mrs. Bradley…could I…talk to you about Stuart?"

"Right, I think that would be an excellent idea…"

Cathy soon found herself alone, her only company the little beep monitoring Jamie's heart.

Now that no one was around to see her, she felt herself start to cry. Seeing him like this was absolutely horrifying.

She didn't care that big, fat, ugly tears rolled onto the sheets, or that her face was getting red and blotchy, or that she had to gasp through her mouth to breathe because her nose was stuffed up. For once, she knew things wouldn't work out. They weren't going to be okay.

They never would be.

"I love you, Jamie," she whispered before another round of tears overtook her. "I won't leave, okay?"

She looked around for some tissues and was about to get up to wipe her eyes when she noticed something different. She looked down, and through her blurred vision, she saw Jamie's left hand had moved to cover her right.

Her eyes shot to his. They were slowly fluttering open. Cathy started to shake, but she tried to keep calm. She wasn't going to run away from him again.

He frowned, but didn't say anything. He blinked up at her, the meds he was on making him delirious.

"Jamie?" she choked out. "Can…can you hear me?"

His head moved slightly up and down.

"You know who this is?" She felt a little silly asking, but she needed to know he was at least awake to know that much.

"Cathy…" his voice was barely above a whisper.

She nodded. "I'm here, Jamie. I came back for you."

"What…happened…"

"You were in a car accident," she said, her voice shaking again. "But you're fine now. You'll get better."

She felt his grip tighten slightly on her hand. She smiled through her tears.

"I'm…sorry…Cathy…" he said, looking at her through half-shut eyes.

"It's alright, Jamie," she said, rubbing her thumb across his palm. "You'll be fine now."

There was a knock at the door. A nurse came in, somewhat startled to see the two of them.

"Sorry to interrupt, but he needs some of his meds," she told Cathy. "You'll have to step out for a while."

"That's fine." She stood up, her legs needing to stretch. She tried to walk away, but Jamie's hand hadn't let go.

"Jamie, I have to…"

"Don't…leave…me…" he whispered.

Cathy felt herself sobbing all over again. "Jamie, I can't stay…"

"Don't…leave…me…" he repeated, still grasping her hand.

She looked to the nurse, helpless. "He won't…"

"It's fine," she said, checking over his IVs and injecting him with medication. "As long as you're quiet, you can stay," she added, leaving the room and closing the door.

Cathy sat back down, scooting her chair closer to the bed. Jamie's mouth turned upwards at the corners a tiny bit.

"Please…stay…with…me…"

"I'm not going anywhere, Jamie," she said. She leaned forward and softly placed a kiss on his forehead. She pulled away when the heart monitor started beeping faster, startled by the noise.

There was a ghost of a smile on his face again. He slowly raised his free hand, and she almost broke down again when he gently ran his fingertips down her face. She noticed him lightly pulling her head down toward him, and a second later his lips brushed briefly against her cheek. It was hardly a second long, but it was enough.

He was fighting to stay awake now, she could tell. She laughed sadly. "Go to sleep, Jamie. It's okay."

"But…you…"

"I'll be here," she said, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I won't leave you."

His eyelids closed, and the heart monitor took up the steady rhythm once again.

"I won't leave you," Cathy whispered, kissing the back of his hand. "I'll stay right here with you, Jamie."

Several hours later, when Leanne, Stacey, and Mrs. Bradley came back up to the room, they found that Jamie was still unconscious. Cathy was now asleep, as well, her head resting gently on his chest.

They were still holding hands.


	25. 24: I Wanna Hold Your Hand

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

"Cathy…I know you hate me, and you probably wanna kill me, but I would just like to say that I'm sorry. I know that's not enough, but I really am. And I know you don't want to hear excuses, so I won't give you any. There's nothing I regret more than hurting you like I did. I never want to do that again. You never want to see me again; I get it. But before I leave…I love you. And…if I can't be with you, I think there's always going to be a huge hole in my heart. But if you're happy, then I'll pull through."

_"Is that it?"_

"Did I tell you you're absolutely beautiful?"

_"No."_

"Well then…you're absolutely beautiful."

_"Thank you. And you're right. I want to kill you. But if I did, I wouldn't get to hold hands with you."_

"You like that? It's…it's not much…I mean…"

_"You talk far too much, you know that? And you're wrong. Holding hands is my favorite thing to do. It's so simple and yet it means so much."_


	26. 25: Beginning Again Part III

**Beginning Again - Part III**

Cathy practically lived in Jamie's hospital room for the next week. He was recovering, albeit slowly, and the doctors thought it to be the new medicationthey'd put him on.

Mrs. Bradley was much more pronounced in her theory.

"I'm no expert on medicine, but those doctors don't know what the bloody hell they're talking about. He's getting better because of you, Cathy."

She didn't know if this was true, but it was possible. She remembered numerous stories about patients miraculously making full recoveries because of loved ones. But it was hard to process that she was the reason Jamie was improving.

Not that that was a bad thing. He could now stay awake all day and sleep soundly during the night, and was regaining the feeling in his limbs. He could also sit up with assistance and talk without getting short of breath, but his voice would become hoarse if he raised it, so he kept quiet most of the time.

It was now a common sight to see their hands joined together. Cathy had to adjust to using her left hand because Jamie refused to let her right one go. She didn't mind; the feeling of his fingers closed around hers was soothing, and if it meant helping Jamie recover, then she was more than willing to sacrifice it.

Mrs. Bradley and Leanne would bring her food from the cafeteria or from one of the nearby fast food joints. Most of the days consisted of her talking to Jamie, telling him anything that came to mind. Sometimes they would watch the TV, but everyone agreed that Jamie preferred when Cathy spoke to him.

Cathy was surprised Uncle Bob hadn't shown up at all. She wanted to see him and congratulate him on his surgery; maybe he didn't know she was back. She'd called Annie the day she first left to let them know she'd be with Emma, but that was weeks ago.

While she wanted to see her uncle, she didn't want it to be here. He'd spent way too much time in hospitals. But more than that, she was nervous about what he would say. He'd advised her to put distance between herself and Jamie, if only to have some solace that his niece would be somewhat happy if he didn't make it through the operation.

She hadn't even needed to try. Jamie had ignored her for a while when they'd first won the lottery. He'd caught on about Bob's opinion, and while the two men weren't fans of each other, Jamie had wanted to respect Bob's wishes because of her. If he could make her happy that way, then he'd do it.

But now…she'd let Bob down. She'd made her choice: she couldn't leave Jamie again. He needed emotional support, someone to help him through this. And with Stuart in jail and his various "friends" nowhere in sight, she felt like the challenge fell to her.

Of course, the day she was thinking all of this, Uncle Bob came in. Luckily, Jamie was taking a nap, so she was able to gently pry her hand from his grip.

"Hey, Uncle Bob," she whispered, giving him a hug. "I heard about your operation. I'm glad it went well. How was South Africa?"

"Thank you, Cathy," he said, smiling hesitantly. "And it was lovely." That was all he said on the matter.

Well, that was just great. He was being distant, and that meant he was thinking about something.

"I can't say he deserved it," he said, sitting down and gesturing to Jamie. "But I hope he's learned a lesson. I'm not going to press charges against him or Stuart, so hopefully that means they won't be punished too severely."

Cathy nodded, finding she couldn't move from where she stood.

"I'm not going to disown you, if that's what you're worried about. I can't say I'm thrilled about your decision, but you're old enough to think for yourself."

Cathy nodded again, finding the linoleum floor particularly interesting.

"I don't hate you, Cathy," he said.

"I'm sorry. It's just…" She made herself look at him. "Uncle Bob…he's started to improve. And…Mrs. Bradley thinks it's because of me. He seems so much happier when I'm here with him."

He nodded, his expression unreadable.

"I'm not in any way excusing anything he did. If you want me to be honest, I'm scared what will happen when he's free to go. He's going to rehab straight from here, and I don't know what he'll be charged with. I'm afraid he'll never change. I'm afraid he's going to relapse and go back to snorting coke. I'm afraid he's going to continue making bad decisions. But whatever happens, I'll be there. He needs someone to trust, someone who won't leave when things get bad. Because I know he's scared, too. And if I can give him that, then I'm fine with it. I'll take whatever he throws at me. I'll take getting my heart broken. If I can give him the knowledge that I'm going to stay with him, and make him feel loved even for a little while, then that's enough."

Her uncle was quiet for a moment. Cathy didn't know what to expect, but she was sure nothing was going to surprise her.

He stood up and gave her a hug - a real one this time.

"I'm proud of you, Cathy," he said. "I know things have been hard, with your parents and my going to South Africa and Mr. Bradley's accident. But I'm proud that you've stayed strong."

"I've learned it from you," she answered honestly. "You were willing to try something that might not have worked, and still managed to look at the bright side."

He gave her a kiss on the forehead, giving her a smile that reached his eyes. "You're sure this is what you want?"

"Yes, Uncle Bob. I'm sure."

"Alright. I trust you."

"I know."

…

Later that day, when Bob had left and it was just the two of them again, Cathy was trying not to eat all of her french fries at once when Jamie asked something that almost made her choke on her food.

"Bob still hates me, doesn't he?"

After recovering from coughing, Cathy cleared her throat. "I…I wouldn't say that…"

"Cathy, don't lie to me."

"He doesn't hate you. He…doesn't necessarily agree with your choices, that's all."

"And…is he okay with…"

"Yes, he is." She grasped his hand a little tighter. "He might not be completely thrilled with it, but he respects my decision."

"So you meant all that." His eyes lit up a bit.

Cathy frowned. "You were…you heard all that?"

Jamie nodded. "Most of it." He smiled when Cathy's cheeks colored. "Why? Was I not supposed to hear you?"

"I…I…need to…" She hastily stood up, intending to walk out the door and compose herself. She shouldn't have had that outburst…some of the things she'd said weren't exactly kind…

"Hold up there." Jamie's hold on her hand jerked her back. "I don't see what the problem is."

"Jamie…" She had tears in her eyes, something that had been absent for the last few days.

"Hey…" He sat up, grunting from the effort. He pulled on her hand so that she sat on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong?"

"I'm doubting you. That's what's wrong." She angrily wiped her face with her sleeve. "I have doubts about what's going to happen to us. I'm not as brave as you think I am."

"Cathy, you willing sit in this hospital room every day and sleep on a roll-in cot every night. You haven't had a healthy piece of food since you got here. And even though you're right-handed, you use your left just because I'm too busy holding it. That, to me, is brave."

"That's got nothing to do with what I said!" she exclaimed. "The worst part is that I meant everything. I'm terrified of what's going to happen."

Jamie exhaled, brushing her hair behind her ear. "Cathy, here's the deal. I don't know another person besides Stuart and my mum who would do all that you do for me and still keep their sanity. What really makes it special is that you do it all despite your fear. I really don't blame you for being scared of the future. Hell, I'm scared out of my mind. I don't know if I'm going to prison or what. I hate to think about it.

"But things will be fine. I don't know how, but they'll be fine." His mouth rose at the corners a bit. "I know you're tired of people saying that, but maybe if you start to believe it's true, maybe it will be. I have hope because of you. Because you're scared, but you're here with me anyway. You said it yourself, remember?"

She breathed in noisily, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry for crying so much and getting so emotional on you."

"You need to stop apologizing all the time," he replied, his smile growing.

"And you think me sitting in here is difficult," she mumbled.

He laughed, wincing slightly.

"Jamie?"

"It's fine. Just my abs…not used to sitting up."

"You should lay back down…"

"I'm fine." He locked eyes with hers for a moment. "Cathy, I want you to go home tonight."

She frowned in confusion. "What?"

"You owe it to yourself to sleep in an actual bed."

"But…"

"Don't worry about me. Knowing you're actually sleeping well is enough for me."

She still looked skeptical. "I'll only do it if you want me to."

"I want you to," he whispered, catching her tears with his fingertips. "I really can't thank you enough, Cathy. You are…radiant. And I love you."

She felt her eyes widen and her breathing quicken. They'd been close to this point the last time they'd seen each other. She'd wanted to tell him, but her frustration had been too strong.

Part of her was telling her to pull away, to pity him and tell him she couldn't do this. She knew that it would always be there, it would always say to back away and hide, avoid the pain. But most of her was in control right now, for most of her leaned into his touch and smiled through her tear-streaked face. Most of her said, "I love you, too," in a voice that couldn't possibly belong to her.

And most of her felt his lips brushing against hers seconds later.


	27. 26: Beginning Again Part IV

**Beginning Again - Part IV**

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Cathy didn't bat an eye when Mrs. Bradley popped in with the news. If truth be told, she was relieved to hear it.

_At least Stuart could try to get his money back. That ring cost more than his damn house._

The one good thing that came from this was the thought that she wouldn't have to see Amy again. The two young women had never really gotten along; Cathy didn't even know why. But upon meeting her when she'd first moved in with Uncle Bob, they never seemed to "click". And this didn't bother her.

Sure, Amy was materialistic, and whined more than her two children, and put way too much bleach in her hair, but Cathy didn't think she was bad. Obnoxious and shallow, obviously. But not bad.

It should have tipped her off that something was up when she'd told Mrs. Bradley she was going to live with Emma. She'd been packing her things when Amy had showed up in the doorway, blabbing about how much fun she'd had the other night with her friends.

"And then a rather handsome fellow showed up in a Ferrari…"

Cathy had hesitated for a second, but that was all it took.

"Took me back here, and he swam in the pool for a bit. Sweet boy, he is. A little cocky, but he knows how to treat a lady. Great kisser, too. Not that I enjoyed it much. But he looked great in his boxers."

Cathy bit the inside of her mouth, drawing a little of blood. She never looked up, intent on getting her things in order.

"Just thought you should know where your lover boy was. You think he's so devoted to you…but he's like his brother: weak. He will break your heart. And you won't be able to do anything about it."

Amy had left after that, thank God. Cathy quietly shut the door, slid down to the floor, and cried until her eyes hurt.

She hadn't seen her since then. She'd gone on vacation with the kids, and as far as Cathy knew, she was still there.

She would have loved to be right. Mrs. Bradley reported that Amy had come back as soon as she heard about Stuart's arrest and Jamie's accident. She would be "making an appearance when it suited her to do so". She was a grieving ex-fiance, after all.

Cathy tried not to worry about it much, and put her attention on Jamie instead. He was now able to use his crutches and walk short distances, and had started physical therapy to readjust his muscles. He was slowly weaning off all the IVs and medications, and in a couple of weeks would be discharged from the hospital.

She slept at Stuart's house, which was also the temporary residence of Leanne and Stacy, whom Mrs. Bradley had convinced to help with Stuart's sentence. Whenever Cathy asked about it, no one said anything to her. She didn't question it, but she wanted to know how Stuart was doing. He was like her older brother, and much like her feelings for Jamie, she didn't want to see him suffer.

Of course, not being engaged to Amy any longer must have taken some of the pressure off.

She couldn't seem to get the nagging out of her head, the little voice that kept teasing her. _Jamie kissed her. And she liked it. What if he decides he still wants her?_

But thinking back on the morning after, before he'd went off to his strip club, he'd acted so normal, like it hadn't happened. Granted, he and his mum had been having a little argument, but he wasn't angry enough to forget to say goodbye to Cathy.

"I'll see you later, yeah?" he said, pocketing his phone.

"I'll be here," she answered, laughing.

"Good. Don't want you goin' anywhere," he said in a low voice, arching an eyebrow devilishly and kissing her.

"What did I say about little ears and eyes?" Mrs. Bradley called from the kitchen.

Jamie just took Cathy into his arms and kissed her harder, pulling her impossibly closer. She could feel her face heat up as she tried to keep up with him, his kiss making her feel breathless.

"James Andrew Bradley!"

He broke contact, annoyance on his face rather than enjoyment. "I'll be back later," he said, turning to his mother. "Doubt anyone'll miss me."

He turned back to Cathy and lowered his voice. "Sorry 'bout that. I'll see you tonight, love." He gave her a quick peck and went off down the hallway. She promptly collapsed on the floor, her head spinning and her limbs tingling.

In retrospect, maybe that kiss didn't mean as much as she thought it did. Maybe he'd been trying to convince himself that he hadn't done anything wrong. He was dating Cathy, and she would be the only one he snogged senseless; if he kissed her enough, it wouldn't matter if he made a move on anyone else.

Jamie didn't bring it up, which signaled he wasn't bothered by the situation at all. But after hearing the news that Amy would be coming in, he knew something was upsetting her, and he asked her about it.

"Jamie, don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"No, you're not." He fixed her with his gaze. "You twirl your hair around your fingers when you're thinking about something that upsets you. You've done it for as long as I've known you."

Cathy quickly dropped the strand of hair she'd been furiously twisting, but said nothing.

"It's about Amy, isn't it?"

She slowly nodded, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. "She told me about your…encounter at the pool."

He breathed out through his mouth. "Right. Figures."

"It doesn't matter, really." She shrugged. "I guess I just don't want it to happen again. Which it could, considering she and Stuart are done."

"She came onto me-"

"Not how she tells it."

"I wasn't thinking, alright? It just sort of happened."

She rolled her eyes. "So kissing a woman who's engaged to someone else 'just sort of happens' all the time."

"Cathy, you honestly can't be jealous."

"It's not okay if I am?" She glared at him. "So when Amy comes and you decide you'd like to pick up where you left off, I'm supposed to stand by and smile like it's no big deal?"

"I didn't say it would!"

"But what if it does, Jamie?"

A silence passed between them. Cathy tugged at her hair, tempted to start twirling it again.

"I'm going for a walk," she said tersely, walking toward the door. "I won't be long."

"I love you."

She stopped, not turning to face him.

"I hope that's enough for you to trust me."

She quickly walked out and shut the door, not wanting him to hear her cry.

* * *

She wandered around the hospital grounds for about a half-hour. She wanted to trust him, she didn't like doubting him. She felt like she was going back on all she'd said a few days ago. She promised to stay with him, no matter what.

It was a lot more difficult than she thought it would be.

But no one had said it would be easy.

The more she thought about it, she realized the situation was out of her hands. It all fell on Jamie. It was his choice what he did.

His last words were still in her head. _He loves me. He loves _me_. He needs me…_

She had to trust him. She had promised to give him that much, and she would do it, despite the emotional cost on her part.

When she got back, her heart sank. Amy was sitting in _her _chair, helping herself to _her _gummies, and talking with _her _boyfriend.

Was he her boyfriend?

"There you are, Cathy. Almost had to call the nurses to go look for you. I got worried." He flashed her a smile, and despite her anger, her heart melted just a bit.

"Nice to see you, Cathy," Amy said, a tight smile on her face.

"Same." Cathy pulled up a chair on the opposite side of the bed. "I'm…I'm sorry about you and Stuart."

"Oh, _that_." Amy shrugged. "Didn't surprise me. Gave him hell for a few days, but I think he got the picture." She flipped her hair behind her shoulder. "Far as I'm concerned, he can sit in jail for the rest of his life and hope that _Lea _waits for him. Can't believe I didn't see him for what he was sooner."

Cathy nodded, trying not to say anything snarky.

"Well, I'd best be off. Jack and Daisy need to be watched, now that Stuart's mum is too busy with his bail." She sighed huffily, getting up. "It was nice to see you, Jamie. Get better soon, yeah?"

"Won't be a problem with this lovely lady watching over me." He looked at Cathy, smiling.

"Treat her right, or I'll have to kick your ass. Not everyone's lucky enough to have such a devoted girl." She winked at Cathy.

Cathy blinked, stunned, and was quiet until Amy left. "What…what was that all about?"

"Dunno. But best not look a gift horse in the mouth."

"So…" Cathy swallowed. "How…how was it?"

"It was fine. She told me she's back at her folks', and that she can't sit around all day anymore. She put on the whole poor-me act, but it'll be good for her."

Cathy nodded. "At least she's not too traumatized."

Jamie reached out and traced his fingers down her face. "We didn't do anything, if you're still wondering."

Cathy caught his hand in hers. "I'm not. I figured it's better to trust you on things like this. If I can't, how am I going to later in life?"

"So you believe me?"

"Mmhmm." She gave him a small smile.

"Well, that's too bad. Because you should have seen what happened. She tried to rip off my clothing, and the nurses had to come in and almost hauled her out of here."

"That's not funny!" she cried, slapping him on the arm and trying not to giggle. He laughed and pulled her down onto the bed.

"So you really do trust me."

"Yes."

"Okay. Just making sure." He smirked. "I'd have to kick you off the bed if you didn't." His eyes softened. "In all seriousness, nothing happened." He pulled her closer. "I would never do that to you."

"I know." She brushed a few stray strands of hair from his forehead. "I wish I would have figured that out sooner. Or at least believed it."

"Well, you're doing that now, so why worry about it? Why don't we just lay here for a while and not worry about anything. It'll be just you and me."

"Really? You're not trying to seduce me?"

He scoffed, feigning offense. "What happened to trusting me?"

"What happened to forgetting about that for a while?"

He arched an eyebrow. "Touche, Miss Davies."

"Touche, Mr. Bradley," she conceded.

They relaxed and forgot about the world, falling asleep in each others' arms.


	28. 27: January the Second

January the Second

Jamie was discharged from the hospital the day after New Year's.

He was given five minutes to say goodbye before he would be escorted to jail. His mother was watching Jack and Daisy, and only Cathy remained to send him off.

He'd be there for a year. A whole year. He wasn't sure if he was fearful or if he was annoyed. He decided he was a little bit of both.

"It'll be fine," Cathy said. "I'll visit as much as I can, and you'll see Stuart, I think…and I'll bring your mum…"

He nodded; he knew her well enough to recognize that she was about to cry.

"It's only for a year," she said, more to herself than to him, her eyes welling with tears. "It's only…for…a…year…"

"I'll be alright," he said quietly, swallowing hard. "I won't get into too much trouble, for your sake."

She nodded, hastily swiping her face with her sleeve. He leaned in and gave her a lingering kiss.

"Wait for me?" he whispered when he pulled away.

She threw herself into his arms. "Don't even ask."

All too soon, he was walking out of the room, glancing at Cathy and holding her gaze until the door shut.


	29. 28: A New Life

_This is the oddball of the bunch, because it's not even about Jamie or Cathy. It was a request from someone on Tumblr._

A New Life

Leanne went to Wales, as she'd planned.

She got herself a flat in a quiet neighborhood. Stacey was enrolled in school, taking a while to open up to anyone other than her mother.

She sometimes wondered if Stuart had kept her number, and for about a month, she allowed herself to sit in front of the phone each night, waiting. He never called.

Leanne and Denise would have periodic weekends where they'd meet up and go shopping. Denise informed Leanne about Jamie's accident and Stuart's arrest. She couldn't say she was entirely surprised. (And she figured that was why Stuart had never had the chance to reach her.)

She tried dating a few times, but her heart wasn't in it. She hated to admit it, but as much as she wish she didn't, she wanted Stuart back.

One day, about a year and half after she'd moved, the phone rang. Not recognizing the number, she picked it up warily after a few rings.

"Look outside," came from the other end.

And there he was.


	30. 29: Change Your Fate

Change Your Fate

He'd given this a lot of thought. He hadn't rushed into it, like he did most things. He'd sat for countless hours, sorting it all out in his head.

That didn't explain why he was so damn nervous.

Jamie reached into his pocket and pulled out the box, an action that had become second nature the past couple of months. The ring still sat there, tinted pink, studded with little diamonds, all leading to the larger diamond in the center. The lady had assured him it wasn't too flashy. He was starting to think she'd just said that to get him to buy something (he _had _been there for three hours…).

She'd love it. Possibly. She had to. They'd been dating for the past year, hadn't they? And she'd been there for him long before that; hell, she'd visited him every week when he'd been in prison. That had to mean something. Didn't it?

It did. He knew it did. He was just scaring himself.

But…what if…?

He leaned his head back, hitting it on the bench. Rubbing the sore spot, he looked up at the night sky, trying to pick out a constellation to get his mind off of things.

He could always put it off. They weren't in a rush. She was back in school, studying psychology; he had a job at a coffee shop, working eight hours a day, six days a week. He was just beginning to put his life back together. He didn't need to add any more stress.

But she couldn't wait forever. A year of him in prison was enough. And he was positive that he loved her, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her (no matter how cheesy it sounded). No, he had to ask soon, or otherwise they'd go through another disastrous fight, and he most certainly did not want that.

The past year had been difficult, but well worth it. He'd wasted no time in dating her properly, and enjoying every minute of it. They'd had a few scuffles, but always made up in the end, reminding him that she still had a fiery temper if he set her off. But that was one of the many reasons he loved her.

There were a lot of things to love about her. Her eyes, her hair, her laugh, her smile…the way she said his name…

"Jamie…"

That had to be one of his favorites. Her tone of voice never failed to show how much she cared.

"Jamie…"

He smiled to himself, loving the sound…

"Jamie!"

He opened his eyes, shooting straight up. Cathy stood in front of him, arms folded, a bemused smile on her face. "Off in your own world, I see."

He laughed. "Sorry about that." He discreetly looked at his pocket, checking to see if the box was visible.

Cathy sat beside him, giving him a peck that managed to send his heart racing. "Everything alright?"

He would have laughed at that if his throat wasn't dry. Why was it dry? It hadn't been that way a moment ago. "Why…why do you ask?"

She gave him a pointed look. "Jamie, the only time you ask to meet me on this particular bench in front of the lake in the park is if something's wrong. And I'm a bit worried, considering we're sitting here at night."

He stretched his arm around her shoulders. "Maybe nothing's wrong. Maybe I just want to sit here with my girlfriend and enjoy how nice and quiet it is."

"We could always do that at your flat, or at my place." She leaned her head against him. "You're not breaking up with me, are you?"

He snorted. "Hardly." He pulled her closer. "After all you've done for me? Even after I've been a dick to you?" He gave her a sideways glance. "You really think I'd let you go that easily?"

She smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "I really ought to trust you more, huh?"

"Wouldn't hurt." His eyes softened. "I love you, Cathy."

"I love you, too, Jamie," she answered, resting her head against his shoulder.

They sat like that for a while, saying nothing. Just having her this close was making him nervous. He could feel his palms start to sweat and his heart beating faster and faster.

He finally cleared his throat. "Cathy?" He cringed at how scratchy it had sounded.

She raised her head, looking at him. He was blanking; his breathing became shallow. He had to do it now, before he passed out.

"Cathy, I…" What was he supposed to say now? Dammit. He was going to make a fool of himself.

No. He could do this. Breathe in, breathe out. He sat up and took her hands in his.

"Cathy, I really can't thank you enough for everything. I know I'm not always the best boyfriend, but you stick with me when I slip up and you love me anyway. And I know that we fight sometimes, but it's all worth it, and I know the last couple of years have been hell, and I still marvel at how strong you've been through all of it.

"I am so thankful that you keep giving me chances, even if I don't deserve them. And…it means the world to me to know you're always going to be there."

By this point, she had tears in her eyes and her cheeks were flushed. He gently squeezed her hands, reaching into his pocket to pull out the box. He got off the bench, going down on one knee before her.

As soon as he moved, she frowned. "Jamie, what…" She trailed off, looking from the box to him. "Oh, my…" A hand flew to her mouth, more tears spilling down her face.

"Cathy, I love you." He opened the box and took a deep breath. "Will you marry me?"

The longest silence he'd ever endured followed. It couldn't have been that long, but to him, it was an eternity.

She finally nodded, choking out the word, "Yes."

He blinked a few times, not quite believing what she'd said. When it sank in, he felt himself smile like a complete idiot. But who cared? She said yes. SHE SAID YES.

He held her left hand and carefully slid the ring onto her finger, his hands trembling the whole time.

"It's beautiful," she said.

"Not too flashy?"

She shook her head. "It's perfect."

Quite suddenly, he found himself lying on the ground, Cathy on top of him. She was squeezing the life out of him, crying into his shoulder. He held her against him, once again looking up at the night sky, his chest about to burst in sheer happiness.

She leveled her face with his and kissed him soundly, his mind immediately spinning and his arms wrapping around her waist. They went on like that for a few moments before pulling away, smiling at each other.

"I love you so much," she whispered, brushing his bangs from his forehead.

"I love you, too." He took her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers again, feeling happier than he ever had.


	31. Dedications and Acknowledgements

So...I'm done. I finally finished something! And now's the time to thank a bunch of people for their inspiration and all that other good stuff:

-Kay Mellor, for writing The Syndicate.

-Cast and crew, for doing a hell of a good job making it one of my favorite shows EVER.

-Matthew Lewis, for Jamie. (And generally being a flawless actor and human being.)

-Saoirse Ronan, for being my perpetual female face claim.

-hellyeahmattlewis, for reading and liking all my installments (and for most of the Matthew Lewis gifs/pictures I used in my Tumblr posts).

Whomever owns all the other pictures I used in my Tumblr posts...because you're awesome.

pottersavenger, say-alohomora and camerasandcomposition, for being loyal readers and always giving me encouragement.

cliffnotesofanerd, for understanding my feels and giving me someone to look up to.

godyoutosspots, for being a fangirl and loving all my little headcanons.

Anyone else who reads my stuff, for your feedback and likes. I love each and every one of you.

Thank you so much again. :)

~Elphie


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